
Age Well with Dr Sophie Shotter
"Yes, I take sides in couples therapy. Here's why..." - Terry Real *guest ep*
Aug 13, 2024
Terry Real, a renowned family therapist and expert on intimacy, dives into the intricacies of couples therapy. He discusses the cyclic nature of relationships and underscores how childhood shapes adult dynamics. The conversation tackles shame and grandiosity, urging couples to foster equality and accountability, especially when faced with infidelity. Real offers insights on sustaining love through vulnerability and emotional growth, promoting healthier communication as key to deeper connections. This engaging dialogue is filled with practical advice for couples seeking to strengthen their bonds.
49:42
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Quick takeaways
- The progression of marriage involves navigating distinct phases of harmony, disharmony, and ultimately achieving mature love through understanding and acceptance.
- Childhood relationship experiences shape adult partnerships, often leading to unresolved issues that hinder effective communication and intimacy in couples.
Deep dives
The Three Phases of Marriage
Marriage typically unfolds through three distinct phases: harmony, disharmony, and repair. In the initial phase, referred to as love without knowledge, couples experience a deep connection but may lack understanding of each other's quirks or habits. The second phase, disillusionment or knowledge without love, occurs when partners recognize each other's flaws and may feel discontented. The final phase, mature love, emerges when couples accept imperfections and develop stronger bonds through effective communication and conflict resolution.
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