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The Courage to Choose Your Own Life w/ Jodie Cook | Ep 403

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Dec 6, 2025

Guest

Jodie Cook

In this discussion, Jodie Cook, an entrepreneur and author, explores the transformative ideas of Adlerian psychology presented in her favorite book, The Courage to Be Disliked. She challenges conventional views on trauma, highlighting how we assign meaning to past events and the importance of personal agency. Jodie shares insights on embracing radical responsibility, choosing happiness over seeking approval, and rewriting personal narratives. Chris Do adds his reflections on authenticity and the profound impact literature has on our lives.

01:17:44

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Episode notes

insights

INSIGHT

You Choose The Meaning Of Your Past

Adlerian psychology is goal-based, not cause-and-effect, so the past doesn't determine your future.
You can choose the meaning of past events and decide your life from this moment onward.

insights

INSIGHT

Goals Shape How We Experience Situations

Behavior often creates the situations that fulfill an underlying goal rather than being a direct response to external causes.
Different people can experience the same situation differently because their goals shape what they notice.

question_answer

ANECDOTE

Stories Showing Excuses Become Symptoms

The book uses relationship examples where someone looks for faults to justify leaving, showing goals create perceived problems.
The blushing story shows a woman keeps an excuse to avoid rejection until circumstances remove it.

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Adlerian Psychology vs Freudian Approach

01:20 • 3min

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Meaning, Past, and Personal Choice

04:41 • 3min

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Goal-Based Behavior Illustrated

07:18 • 3min

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Relationships and Seeking Problems

10:33 • 3min

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Symptoms as Excuses: The Blushing Story

13:11 • 2min

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Radical Responsibility and Agency

15:41 • 4min

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Why the Book Resonated with Jodie

Courage to Be Disliked Explained

23:20 • 3min

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Choosing Unhappiness and Its Beliefs

26:13 • 3min

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Uncovering Hidden Beliefs

Portfolio Reviews and Real Goals

41:14 • 5min

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Detecting True Goals in Requests

46:24 • 6min

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Detachment From Your Work

52:06 • 7min

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Saying What You Think: Liberation and Limits

58:47 • 4min

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Trusting Team Output and Content Responsibility

01:02:50 • 5min

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Anger, Boundaries, and Respect

01:07:21 • 7min

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Hiring, Growth, and Editing Mistakes

• Mentioned in 90 episodes

The E-myth

why most businesses don't work and what to do about it

Michael E. Gerber

The E-Myth Revisited by Michael E. Gerber dispels the myths about starting your own business, highlighting that most small business owners are not true entrepreneurs but rather technicians skilled in their trade. Gerber introduces the concept of the 'E-Myth' and explains that business owners must embody three key roles: the Entrepreneur (the visionary), the Manager (the organizer), and the Technician (the doer). The book emphasizes the distinction between working 'on' your business and working 'in' your business, and provides practical advice on building systems and processes to ensure a business can run independently of its owner.

#666

• Mentioned in 40 episodes

four-hour work week

Tim Ferriss

#219

• Mentioned in 88 episodes

The Courage to Be Disliked

Fumitake Koga

Ichiro Kishimi

This book unfolds as a dialogue between a young man and a philosopher over five nights, exploring the principles of Adlerian psychology. It emphasizes that true happiness and freedom come from living a life independent of past traumas and societal expectations. Key themes include the idea that all problems stem from interpersonal relationships, the importance of separating one's tasks from others', and the concept that freedom is found in having the courage to be disliked. The book provides practical advice on self-forgiveness, self-care, and mind decluttering, encouraging readers to take control of their life's direction and live in the present.

In this episode, Chris Do and Jodie Cook dive deeply into The Courage to Be Disliked, exploring the core ideas of Adlerian psychology and how they contrast with the more widely known Freudian approach. Jodie explains why this single book has followed her across continents—literally part of her 23-kilo life—and how its central messages about agency, choice, and goal-driven behavior have shaped her worldview.

Chris shares his own experience reading the book for the first time, remarking on how its ideas often feel like someone has put his own thoughts on paper. Together, they unpack how the book’s dialogue between a philosopher and a student challenges conventional thinking around trauma, past experiences, and personal responsibility.

Timestamps

(00:00) – Intro

(04:01) – Meaning we assign events

(07:04) – Freudian vs Adlerian psychology

(10:09) – Goal-based behavior explained

(14:00) – Blushing example breakdown

(17:59) – Radical responsibility and agency

(22:01) – Three ways books change us

(24:59) – Seeking acceptance and approval

(28:30) – Courage to choose happiness

(32:10) – Self-sufficiency and social harmony

(36:15) – Shifting life paths intentionally