TED Talks Daily What successful negotiators do differently | Kathryn Valentine
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Dec 24, 2025 
Kathryn Valentine, a leadership consultant and TEDx speaker, explores the challenges women face in negotiations. She explains that women negotiate just as often as men but often encounter backlash and lower success rates. Sharing a personal story about a failed internship negotiation, she introduces a research-backed four-part formula for successful asks. Valentine emphasizes the importance of practical tools for immediate gains, urging women to take action rather than waiting for gender parity.
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Gender Shapes Negotiation Outcomes
- Women negotiate as often as men but succeed far less and face more backlash.
- This gap stems from gendered expectations tied to typical negotiation advice built for men.
Intern Negotiation That Backfired
- Kathryn Valentine recounts negotiating as an MBA intern and being labeled 'not a culture fit' after she followed standard advice.
- That experience launched her research into gendered negotiation norms.
Use A Four‑Part Ask Formula
- Use the formula: past performance + future vision + the ask + a collaborative question.
- This structure increases success and reduces backlash when women negotiate.