It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People SLIC Solutions for Limits: How to Set Boundaries That Actually Work (with Ekaterina Ricci)
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Jan 29, 2026 Ekaterina Ricci, conflict resolution expert and mediator, co-author of SLIC Solutions for Conflict. She explains the two-and-a-half steps for limits: set clear boundaries, impose consequences, and use selective empathy. They discuss when empathy backfires, how to prepare and practice enforcement, social media’s effect on boundaries, and the five checks for fair consequences.
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Empathy Can Backfire With Manipulators
- Empathy can enable manipulators by giving them leverage to prolong or escalate conflict.
- Use empathy selectively because it may make high-conflict behavior worse.
Use The Two-And-A-Half Steps
- Use the two-and-a-half steps: set clear limits, impose consequences, then selectively offer EAR (empathy, attention, respect).
- Skip EAR when empathy will be exploited by the other person.
Prepare Consequences Ahead Of Time
- Prepare and write consequences in advance using a journal to avoid freezing in fight-or-flight moments.
- Practice your prepared consequence so you can follow through calmly when needed.
