SLIC Solutions for Limits: How to Set Boundaries That Actually Work (with Ekaterina Ricci)
It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People
When empathy makes conflict worse
Ekaterina and Bill discuss how empathy can enable manipulators and when to withhold it during limit-setting.
Setting Effective Limits: A Conversation About SLIC Solutions for Conflict
Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter welcome co-author Ekaterina Ricci to discuss their new book "SLIC Solutions for Conflict," exploring practical approaches to setting limits and consequences with individuals who demonstrate challenging behaviors.
The episode introduces the "two and a half steps" approach: establishing clear boundaries, implementing consequences, and selectively using empathy, attention, and respect (EAR) statements. Traditional empathy-focused approaches may sometimes enable rather than resolve difficult situations, particularly with individuals who demonstrate manipulative behaviors.
Bill Eddy outlines five crucial questions for establishing consequences: Is it proportional? Have positive consequences been considered? Is it safe? Are you prepared to enforce it? Do you need assistance?
Questions we answer: How can empathy make conflict worse? Why is advance preparation important? How does social media impact younger generations' ability to set boundaries? When should you seek help imposing consequences?
Whether managing professional relationships, navigating family dynamics, or maintaining personal boundaries, this episode provides practical tools for setting effective limits while maintaining respect and safety. Learn how preparation, practice, and proper timing can help you implement boundaries with confidence.
Additional Resources
Watch this episode on YouTube!
Expert Publications
High-Conflict Training
Personal Development
- Conflict Influencer Group Class - starts January 21
- New Ways for Couples: Online Class + Coaching
Professional Development
- Family Law Consultation Group with Bill Eddy - starts March 2026
Connect With Us
- Visit High Conflict Institute: highconflictinstitute.com
- Submit questions for Bill and Megan
- Browse our complete collection of books and resources in our online store—available in print and e-book formats
- Find these show notes and all past episode notes on our website
Important Notice
Our discussions focus on behavioral patterns rather than diagnoses. For specific legal or therapeutic guidance, please consult qualified professionals in your area.
- (00:00) - Welcome to It's All Your Fault
- (00:49) - SLIC Solutions for Conflict
- (01:22) - About Ekaterina
- (03:23) - Why This Book?
- (04:07) - When Empathy Makes It Worse
- (06:31) - Two-and-a-Half Steps
- (08:29) - Consequence
- (11:13) - Role Play Practice
- (13:31) - Learning How to Set the Limit
- (16:56) - Younger Generations and Setting LImits
- (20:03) - Social Media Example
- (22:08) - Surprises in the Writing of It
- (25:36) - Something Hopeful
- (29:54) - Creating Space for Yourself
- (32:38) - The Five Questions
- (37:55) - The Writing Experience
- (38:52) - A Few Examples
- (43:28) - Doing What's Right
- (46:35) - Wrapping Up
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