‘What do we want in a partner?’ Relationships and how to foster deeper connections
Aug 11, 2023
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Lori Gottlieb, relationship therapist, discusses the de-stigmatization of therapy, misconceptions spread on social media, and the importance of conversations and understanding personal responsibility in relationships. She also explores the significance of cherishing moments, recognizing emotional needs, and addressing mental health issues. The podcast highlights the impact of life circumstances on emotional difficulties, the challenges of projecting idealized versions onto partners, and the therapist's personal reflections on the field.
Emotional stability is the number one predictor of a successful and happy relationship, so it is crucial to prioritize this quality in a partner.
The popularization of therapy terms on social media can lead to miscommunication and unrealistic expectations, emphasizing the need for open and honest conversations instead of relying solely on buzzwords.
Being aware of red flags, such as trust, honesty, and emotional stability, is essential in the early stages of a relationship to avoid potential problems and build a healthier connection.
Deep dives
The Importance of Emotional Stability and Flexibility in Relationships
Emotional stability and flexibility are key qualities to look for in a partner. Research shows that emotional stability is the number one predictor of a successful and happy relationship. Being able to handle stress and communicate effectively are important factors that contribute to emotional stability. Additionally, having flexibility in a relationship, both in terms of roles and expectations, allows for a more balanced and fulfilling partnership.
The Impact of Misusing Therapy Terms on Social Media
The popularization of therapy terms on social media can have negative consequences. Using terms like gaslighting, toxic, and setting boundaries without a clear understanding of their true meanings can lead to miscommunication and unrealistic expectations in relationships. It is important to be cautious when using these terms and to have open and honest conversations instead of resorting to cutting people off or labeling them as toxic.
Recognizing Red Flags in Relationships
Being aware of red flags is crucial when entering into a new relationship. Red flags can include issues like trust, honesty, and emotional stability. It is important to pay attention to how a partner treats you, whether they are respectful, honest, and able to have difficult conversations. Recognizing and addressing red flags early on can help avoid potential problems and build a healthier relationship.
Redefining Gender Roles and Expectations in Relationships
Societal norms about gender roles in relationships are evolving, and it is important to challenge traditional expectations. Egalitarian relationships, where responsibilities are more evenly shared, tend to be more fulfilling. This shift in perspective can lead to more open communication, emotional intimacy, and a stronger connection with a partner. Breaking away from outdated ideas about masculinity and femininity can create healthier and more satisfying relationships.
The Importance of Emotional Stability and Flexibility in Relationships
Emotional stability and flexibility are key qualities to look for in a partner. Research shows that emotional stability is the number one predictor of a successful and happy relationship. Being able to handle stress and communicate effectively are important factors that contribute to emotional stability. Additionally, having flexibility in a relationship, both in terms of roles and expectations, allows for a more balanced and fulfilling partnership.
Lori Gottlieb, relationship therapist, podcast host, and author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone, shares her experience both personally and professionally with couples therapy. Gottlieb says the de-stigmatization of mental health has helped normalize having a therapist, although its growing visibility on social media may have the opposite effect and creates a false idea of what therapy can and cannot do.
“Therapy is a relationship in and of itself,” says Gottlieb. “A safe space where you can slow things down, look at ways that you interact or move through the world in this relationship so you can change it in those outside relationships.”
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