Unfollowing Mum cover image

Unfollowing Mum

EP 8 Estrangement on Mother's Day

Mar 15, 2023
Exploring the challenges and complex emotions of celebrating Mother's Day with toxic or estranged parents, self-gaslighting in estranged relationships, feelings of failure, and strategies for reframing the holiday and finding peace.
30:37

Podcast summary created with Snipd AI

Quick takeaways

  • Mother's Day can amplify feelings of grief and resentment for individuals estranged from their mothers, due to idealized portrayals of motherhood in society.
  • Gaslighting from toxic parents can lead to self-doubt, but reflecting on emotions and journaling can help distinguish reality from the illusions created to validate abuse.

Deep dives

Challenging Mother's Day for Estranged Individuals

Mother's Day can be a challenging time for individuals who are estranged from their mothers or have toxic relationships with them. Social media, marketing, and supermarkets often inundate them with fairy tale ideas of what motherhood and a mother-child relationship should be like. This can amplify feelings of grief, resentment, and comparison. It is important to remember that it is not about them, but about their mothers' behavior. However, it is okay to grieve and feel despondent. The commercialization of Mother's Day can further exacerbate these emotions, as toxic relationships are not reflected in cards or social media posts. It is common to feel dread and anxiety around Mother's Day due to societal expectations and input from others. It is crucial for individuals in such situations to prioritize self-care, validate their emotions, and let go of guilt surrounding their choices. Focusing on oneself as a mother or celebrating other maternal figures in their lives can also provide a positive reframing of the day. Overall, individuals in estrangement situations should remember that their self-worth is not determined by their relationship with their mothers.

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