458 SelfWork: When Anxiety Imprisons You

Aug 8, 2025

Explore the deep-seated anxiety surrounding rejection and judgment, likened to a prison that stifles true self-expression. Discover how the safety of therapy can unlock this prison, leading to incredible freedom. Hear insights on the emotional turbulence of having unstable parents and the healing journey it entails. Unpack the burden of secrets and the impact of compassion on those silently enduring their struggles. Finally, learn about the importance of hormonal health and its benefits for overall well-being.

Ask episode

AI Snips

Chapters

Books

Transcript

Episode notes

INSIGHT

Practical Self-Work For Everyone

Dr. Margaret Rutherford invites both therapy-curious and therapy-averse listeners to do self-work.
The show teaches actionable steps to accept yourself, seek help, or try therapy.

INSIGHT

Therapy Provides A Holding Space

Dr. Margaret Rutherford describes therapy as an emotional holding space where clients can surface shameful experiences.
She says this safety allows people to say things they thought they'd never speak aloud.

INSIGHT

Rejection Fear Feels Like Imprisonment

Dr. Margaret Rutherford calls anxiety about judgment a prison that keeps you from honest self-expression.
She notes it's not always a diagnosable disorder but is as real and potent as GAD.

Get the Snipd Podcast app to discover more snips from this episode

Get the app

Today we're focusing on the anxiety of being rejected, scorned, or judged. And how it’s a prison that keeps you from feeling safe to talk about yourself in real terms. It’s not a diagnosable anxiety disorder – unless you have panic attacks along with that fear. But to me, it’s as real as any of the classic diagnoses that are out there, like OCD or generalized anxiety disorder.

But when you can allow yourself to step out of that prison – when you feel safe enough with a therapist or a friend or a partner to say who you really are… the freedom you feel can be incredible.

Today's listener/reader comment was a response to the blogpost When Mom Is Emotionally Unstable: Seven Ways to Heal. So, I’ll read her comment and question – and maybe it’ll answer some of your own about your mom or dad whose emotions and behaviors were or are all over the place.

There's also my thoughts on the life and death of Anne Burrell. Only compassion and wondering what this wonderful woman could've been dealing with..

Vital Links:

When Mom is Emotionally Unstable: Seven Ways to Heal.

Book on borderline traits “I Hate You, Don’t Leave Me.”

Advertisers' Links and Special Offers:

Have you been putting off getting help? BetterHelp, the #1 online therapy provider, has a special offer for you now!

Manage your hormones with the help of Happy Mammoth, a leader in women's health! Go to https://happymammoth.com/selfwork to order!

You can hear more about this and many other topics by listening to my podcast, SelfWork with Dr. Margaret Rutherford. Subscribe to my website and receive my weekly newsletter including a blog post and podcast! If you’d like to join my FaceBook closed group, then click here and answer the membership questions! Welcome!

My book entitled Perfectly Hidden Depression is available here! Its message is specifically for those with a struggle with strong perfectionism which acts to mask underlying emotional pain. But the many self-help techniques described can be used by everyone who chooses to begin to address emotions long hidden away that are clouding and sabotaging your current life.

There’s another way to send me a message! You can record by clicking below and ask your question or make a comment. You’ll have 90 seconds to do so and that time goes quickly. By recording, you’re giving SelfWork (and me) permission to use your voice on the podcast. I’ll look forward to hearing from you!

Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands