Neurodiverse Love with Mona Kay

The Impact of Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) in Neurodivergent Relationships: Navigating Burnout-Grace Malonai

Jun 24, 2025
Grace Malonai, a psychologist and neurodiversity expert at TheraThrive, delves into the complexities of Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) in neurodivergent relationships. She discusses how PDA affects communication, trust, and emotional regulation. Grace offers practical strategies to enhance empathy, self-awareness, and resilience among partners. Insights on the importance of clear boundaries and self-kindness are highlighted, alongside ways to navigate burnout and misunderstandings for healthier connections.
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INSIGHT

Impact of Masking

  • Masking in neurodivergent individuals is a learned persona to fit in socially and is highly fatiguing.
  • Prolonged masking can cause exhaustion and identity confusion.
INSIGHT

Painful Nature of PDA

  • PDA involves overwhelming distress and anxiety making demands feel physically and emotionally painful.
  • Resistance to demands is not willful refusal but a response to intense internal struggle.
ADVICE

Communication and Support Strategies

  • Understand PDA affects anyone and communication before triggers is key.
  • Partners should plan how to support each other during PDA episodes with empathy and practical aids.
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