Conversations with Dr. Jennifer Shame and Suppression | The Silent Struggle of Men
Sep 30, 2025
Dr. Jennifer Finlayson-Fife, a marriage therapist and author of *That We Might Have Joy*, explores the complexities of intimacy and desire in marriages. She discusses how repression can lead to obsession and the struggle men face with shame around sexuality. Jennifer emphasizes the importance of reframing sexuality as sacred and encourages self-awareness in relationships. She also addresses childhood influences on sexual beliefs and the need for honest communication to foster intimacy without pressure, creating a more fulfilling connection.
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Joy Is Spiritual, Not Antagonistic
- Spirituality should increase our capacity for joy, not deny bodily pleasure.
- Sexuality is part of moral development and can deepen connection when reframed as a gift.
Intimacy Demands Moral Courage
- Many desire intimacy yet cannot tolerate true intimacy because it forces self-examination.
- Intimacy requires moral courage to prioritize truth over ego protection.
Choose Your Responses Within Marriage
- Remember you retain agency inside marriage and must choose how to respond daily.
- Avoid resigning to resentment; take responsibility for your reactions and integrity.
