Man Within Podcast 1084 - Should You Give Up Sex To Quit Porn?
Jan 23, 2026
Sathiya dives into the complex relationship between quitting pornography and maintaining sexual intimacy in marriage. He shares insights on performance anxiety, emphasizing that a strong connection can enhance recovery. Personal anecdotes illustrate how sexual intimacy, approached with honesty, can be healing rather than harmful. Techniques like Sensate Touch are introduced as effective ways for couples to rebuild their bond. Sathiya stresses that open communication with partners is key to overcoming fears and enhancing emotional closeness.
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Client's Recovery, Libido, And Performance Fears
- A client who'd been porn-free since September reported a big rise in libido and attraction to his wife while also wrestling with same-sex attraction concerns.
- He admitted to avoiding sex due to fear of poor performance and potential relapse, which resonated with other men on the call.
Connection Versus Strict Abstinence
- Some specialists recommend 90 days of no orgasm (PMO) after starting recovery, but this isn't universally accepted.
- Jeff Stewart argued that connection, not deprivation, is the opposite of addiction, challenging the 90-day abstinence rule.
Use Marital Sex As Part Of Healing
- If you're married, sexual intimacy with your spouse can be healing and helpful while quitting pornography.
- Avoid sex only if you notice fantasy, emotional detachment, or using your spouse as a replacement for porn-driven arousal.