Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Becoming Emotionally Agile with Dr. Susan David

Sep 4, 2023

01:07:22

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Dr. Susan David, creator of Emotional Agility, joins the hosts to discuss the four parts of emotional agility, unhooking from negative thoughts and feelings, identifying what really matters, and acting from our values. They explore the importance of continuity of self, recognizing unhelpful patterns, and learning from discomfort and anxiety.

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Quick takeaways

Emotional agility has four parts: showing up, stepping out, walking your why, and moving on.

Identifying your values and wants can be challenging, but there are strategies to help.

Connecting with our past and future selves can provide guidance and motivation.

Deep dives

The Four Parts of Emotional Agility

Emotional agility has four parts: showing up, stepping out, walking your why, and moving on. Showing up involves acknowledging and accepting emotions without judgment. Stepping out includes creating distance between yourself and your emotions, and labeling emotions with more granularity. Walking your why means aligning your actions with your core values and long-term goals. Moving on involves breaking out of old patterns and letting go of emotions and thoughts that no longer serve you.

Introduction

2min

Exploring Emotional Agility

25min

Navigating Conflicting Values and Avoiding Rigidity

5min

Exploring Values, Will, and Motivation

4min

Values, Emotions, and Discomfort

24min

Willfulness and its Meaning

5min

Exploring Emotional Agility: Aligning with Values and Connecting with Our Past and Future Selves

4min

Forrest and Rick sit down with Dr. Susan David, the creator of the concept of Emotional Agility. Emotional agility is what allows us to navigate our complex emotions, make choices aligned with our values, and ultimately lead more authentic and fulfilling lives.

They begin by discussing the four parts of emotional agility and distinguishing it from related concepts like emotional intelligence before exploring how we can “unhook” from our painful or problematic thoughts, feelings, and stories. They then explore how we can identify what really matters to us, act from those values, and find our footing in an ever-changing world.

About our Guest: Susan David, Ph.D. is an award-winning Harvard Medical School psychologist and the author of the #1 Bestseller Emotional Agility. She is a frequent contributor to the New York Times, Washington Post, and Wall Street Journal, and her TED Talk on the topic of emotional agility has been seen by more than 10 million people.

You can watch this episode on YouTube.

Key Topics:

0:00: Introduction

1:50: Distinguishing emotional agility from emotional intelligence

5:00: The four parts of emotional agility

10:30: The value of seeing yourself and feeling seen by others

16:20: Continuity of self, and considering your future self

21:45: Ways to recognize our unhelpful patterns or ‘hooks’

26:40: Maintaining context for the full scope of our values

32:55: Defining the concept of values

35:50: Learning from discomfort, boredom, and anxiety

40:30: When you struggle to identify your values in the first place

46:05: Compassion and groundedness amidst constant change

52:40: Accurately labeling your stressors

58:30: Love and wisdom

1:00:00: Recap

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