The Jefferson Fisher Podcast STOP Trying to Be Calm. This Is How You Actually Handle Emotional People
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Sep 30, 2025 Being told to "calm down" rarely helps. Instead, it often stirs up resistance. The key is to aim for a grounded connection, allowing you to stay present and honest in conversations. Jefferson shares valuable techniques like using a calm tone and engaged body language. He also emphasizes observing conversations to understand their long-term impacts. Plus, he reveals three witty comebacks for when someone tells you to chill out. These insights might just transform how you navigate emotional exchanges!
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Calm Is A Feeling Not An Action
- Calm in conversation is primarily the absence of reaction, a bodily state produced by slowing breath and nervous-system regulation.
- Jefferson Fisher argues calm is a feeling, not an action, and it's often impossible to force during heated exchanges.
Blank Calm Feels Like Indifference
- An absence of reaction can feel like indifference and make the other person feel unseen or abandoned in a conversation.
- Fisher notes that blank-slate calmness often backfires because it signals apathy rather than engagement.
Grounded Connection Over Blank Calm
- Grounded connection means being present, stable, and self-aware about your emotions rather than pretending to be calm.
- Fisher explains you can be upset and still connect by acknowledging feelings and staying invested in the interaction.