In this engaging discussion, psychology professor Nick Epley shares insights on how deep questions can transform conversations and create genuine connections. Mandy Len Catron reflects on her viral essay about the 36 questions that can lead to love, exploring the nuances of intimacy and vulnerability. Together, they highlight the importance of curiosity in fostering meaningful relationships, revealing how asking the right questions can turn everyday chats into profound exchanges. Dive into the art of heartfelt communication and discover new ways to connect!
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question_answer ANECDOTE
Nick Epley's DUIs
Nick Epley's bad choices as a teen, including two DUIs, led him to reflect on communication.
His parents' shift from lecturing to asking "why" questions sparked a change in him.
insights INSIGHT
Power of "Why" Questions
Not all questions have the same impact; some are more powerful than others.
Epley's parents' questions, focusing on "why," sparked his interest in the power of questions.
question_answer ANECDOTE
Fast Friends Procedure Experiment
The 'Fast Friends Procedure' involves 36 escalating intimacy questions.
In an experiment, 70% of strangers sought further connection post-experiment, some even marrying.
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In this book, Charles Duhigg explores the secrets of 'supercommunicators' who excel at connecting with others. He delves into the three distinct types of conversations—practical, emotional, and social—and provides practical strategies and case studies to illustrate how to recognize and navigate these conversations effectively. The book includes examples from various contexts, such as jury deliberations, CIA recruitments, and workplace interactions, to demonstrate how communication can be improved. Duhigg emphasizes the importance of active listening, identifying complex emotions, and matching the type of conversation to enhance connection and understanding.
How to fall in love with anyone
A Memoir in Essays
Mandy Len Catron
This book is a collection of essays that delve into the complexities of love and relationships. It includes Catron's viral New York Times article 'To Fall in Love with Anyone, Do This,' which describes her experience with a psychology experiment involving 36 questions to create intimacy between strangers. The book expands on this idea, examining the biological, psychological, and historical aspects of love, as well as Catron's personal experiences and those of her family. It critiques romantic myths and encourages readers to reassess their own understanding of love and relationships.
Mind Wise
Nick Epley
Why are some people able to talk with just about anyone—about almost anything? One answer may lie in the questions we ask—and how deeply we ask them. Stick with us here…
In this episode, host Charles Duhigg examines why deep questions are so powerful and how to ask them in everyday life.
He talks to Nick Epley, psychology professor at the University of Chicago and lifelong researcher of deep questions. And we catch up with Mandy Len Catron, 10 years after she wrote the viral New York Times article “The 36 Questions That Lead to Love.”
This Slate miniseries dives into the art and science of meaningful conversations, inspired by Duhigg’s bestselling book, Supercommunicators.
Supercommunicators was produced by Derek John and Sophie Summergrad.
How To! 
