In this engaging discussion, psychology professor Nick Epley shares insights on how deep questions can transform conversations and create genuine connections. Mandy Len Catron reflects on her viral essay about the 36 questions that can lead to love, exploring the nuances of intimacy and vulnerability. Together, they highlight the importance of curiosity in fostering meaningful relationships, revealing how asking the right questions can turn everyday chats into profound exchanges. Dive into the art of heartfelt communication and discover new ways to connect!
Asking deep questions fosters emotional sharing and connection, transforming awkward situations into meaningful conversations, as highlighted by Nick Epley's experiment.
Reflective questioning enhances interpersonal relationships, promoting understanding and vulnerability, as demonstrated through Nick Epley's experiences with his parents.
Deep dives
The Impact of Deep Questions on Connection
Asking deep questions can significantly enhance interpersonal connections, as demonstrated through a fascinating experiment conducted by Nick Epley. During a finance conference, he prompted attendees to discuss personal experiences, such as the last time they cried in front of someone. To his surprise, participants engaged deeply, transforming a seemingly awkward situation into meaningful conversations filled with emotional sharing. This suggests that the right questions can facilitate vulnerability and connection, even among people who might otherwise be closed off.
The Role of Personal Reflection in Communication
Nick Epley's personal experiences with his parents illustrate the transformative power of thoughtful questioning. After being caught drinking and subsequently lectured, he felt disengaged from his parents' messages until they began asking him why he made those choices. This shift in approach led to deeper self-reflection on his part and strengthened their bond. Such scenarios exemplify how reflective questioning can lead to increased understanding and more meaningful relationships.
Practicing Deep Questions for Better Conversations
Developing the skill of asking deep questions takes practice and a willingness to engage with others on a meaningful level. Mandy Lynn Catron's experience with the 'Fast Friends' study showed how simple, intimate questions could lead to lasting connections, even romantic relationships. By focusing on genuine curiosity and allowing conversations to unfold naturally, individuals can break through the barriers of small talk. The key to success lies in consistently practicing these approaches, normalizing the act of deep questioning in everyday interactions.
Why are some people able to talk with just about anyone—about almost anything? One answer may lie in the questions we ask—and how deeply we ask them. Stick with us here…
In this episode, host Charles Duhigg examines why deep questions are so powerful and how to ask them in everyday life.
He talks to Nick Epley, psychology professor at the University of Chicago and lifelong researcher of deep questions. And we catch up with Mandy Len Catron, 10 years after she wrote the viral New York Times article “The 36 Questions That Lead to Love.”
This Slate miniseries dives into the art and science of meaningful conversations, inspired by Duhigg’s bestselling book, Supercommunicators.
Supercommunicators was produced by Derek John and Sophie Summergrad.