Brené with Scott Sonenshein on Stretching and Chasing
Sep 9, 2020
01:04:13
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Scott Sonenshein, a Professor of Management at Rice University and bestselling author, dives into the art of being resourceful amidst challenges. He explores why outsider perspectives can lead to creative solutions, especially during the pandemic. The dangers of social comparison are highlighted, urging listeners to focus inward for true joy. Parenting themes emerge, emphasizing the nurturing of children's problem-solving skills and the importance of quality family time. Sonenshein also advocates for the benefits of simple activities to boost productivity.
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Quick takeaways
Stretching encourages resourcefulness by maximizing existing resources and fostering creativity, contrasting with the dissatisfaction caused by constant chasing and comparison.
The detrimental impact of comparison is evident as it undermines well-being, particularly during crises, leading individuals to overlook their unique successes.
Parenting informed by stretching principles promotes creativity and resourcefulness in children, helping them navigate systems that prioritize conformity and compliance.
Deep dives
Understanding Stretching and Chasing
The concepts of stretching and chasing are central to resourcefulness in both personal and professional contexts. Stretching refers to maximizing the potential of existing resources and being creative with what one has, while chasing denotes an unhealthy focus on acquiring more and comparing oneself to others. This chasing mentality can lead to dissatisfaction, particularly when people constantly look outward, often fueled by social media. By focusing on stretching, individuals can foster a mindset that emphasizes gratitude and creativity, transforming their challenges into growth opportunities.
The Impact of Comparison
Comparison is detrimental to well-being, especially during times of crisis, such as the pandemic. Research shows that silver medalists often feel less satisfied than bronze medalists due to their focus on what they didn't achieve instead of celebrating their success. This tendency to compare extends beyond personal achievements and creates unrealistic benchmarks during challenging times, such as home-schooling children or adapting to remote work. Recognizing this pattern can help individuals shift their focus inward, fostering a sense of contentment and appreciation for their unique journey.
The Role of Parenting
Parenting can be profoundly influenced by the principles of stretching and chasing, particularly in an educational context that often emphasizes conformity. Encouraging children to be resourceful and creative can instill a mindset that embraces flexibility over strict adherence to rules. The approach involves guiding children to utilize existing resources in innovative ways rather than always seeking new toys or tools. As kids navigate a system that encourages compliance, fostering their unique perspectives becomes essential for their personal development and confidence.
The Necessity of Creative Constraints
Embracing constraints can activate a person's creativity and resourcefulness, as seen in various studies and personal anecdotes. These constraints prompt individuals to think outside the box and find inventive solutions to problems. The concept of 'little c creativity' emphasizes the everyday problem-solving capabilities everyone can tap into, regardless of their background or inherent talents. By challenging the notion that creativity is reserved for a select few, individuals can recognize their potential for innovative thinking, especially in high-pressure situations.
Finding Joy in Shared Experiences
Collective experiences offer profound joy and connection, particularly in family settings where shared activities can enhance relationships. Reflecting on the joy derived from family rituals, such as cooking meals together, highlights the value of spending quality time instead of focusing on material acquisitions. The exploration of desires versus true fulfillment reveals that meaningful moments often stem from simple, shared activities rather than financial gain or social status. By prioritizing these experiences, individuals can cultivate a more fulfilling life, aligning their time and resources with what genuinely brings them joy.
Dr. Scott Sonenshein — a researcher and professor — and I talk about the art and science of being scrappy, why outsiders are sometimes better than experts, and why comparison is truly the thief of joy. This book turned things upside down for me — in the best way. I hope the conversation does the same for you.