Think Fast Talk Smart: Communication Techniques

213. Rethinks: Building Trusting Relationships Through Communication

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Jul 1, 2025

Jamil Zaki, a Stanford psychology professor and director of the Stanford Social Neuroscience Lab, shares insights from his book, Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness. He discusses how to transform skepticism into trust by trusting loudly. Zaki explores the foundations of trust in relationships, the impact of cynicism on communication, and practical strategies to counter negativity bias. He emphasizes the importance of constructive conversations and navigating disagreements to foster deeper connections.

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INSIGHT

Trust Foundations

Trust is willingness to be vulnerable, expecting others to have our best interests in mind.
Acts of trust are foundational for forming all relationships, from friendships to business partnerships.

ADVICE

Trust Loudly

Practice "trusting loudly" by explicitly telling others you trust them.
This communication strengthens relationships and encourages reciprocal trust.

INSIGHT

Cynicism Limits Trust

Cynicism views others as selfish and dishonest beneath surface kindness.
This mindset limits trust, shrinking social life and relationships.

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How to turn doubt and suspicion into hopefulness and trust.

There’s a lot in the world to make us cynical about other people and their motives and intentions. But by “trusting loudly,” Professor Jamil Zaki believes we can renew our faith in one another.

Zaki is a professor of psychology at Stanford, director of the Stanford Social Neuroscience lab, and author of several books, including his most recent, Hope for Cynics: The Surprising Science of Human Goodness. While many people feel suspicious of others and are reluctant to trust them, Zaki finds that relying on other people is a necessary part of forming relationships.

“Acts of trust are the bedrock on which relationships are formed,” Zaki says. “The only way that strangers become friends and friends become best friends, the only way that we can build partnerships is through a willingness to count on one another.”

In this Rethinks episode of Think Fast, Talk Smart, Zaki joins host Matt Abrahams to discuss practical strategies for fostering trust and challenging our cynical assumptions, offering a hopeful perspective on human nature, backed by surprising scientific insights.

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Chapters:

(00:00) - Introduction
(03:13) - Defining Trust and Its Importance
(04:04) - Building Better Trust
(05:35) - Understanding Cynicism
(07:57) - The Cynicism Spectrum
(10:17) - Fostering Hopeful Skepticism
(12:31) - Challenges of Overcoming Cynicism
(14:23) - Positive Gossip and Positive Noticing
(17:21) - Self-Fulfilling Prophecies
(20:17) - The Final Three Questions
(28:14) - Conclusion

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