Relationship warning signs & how to be likable w/ body language expert (Vanessa Van Edwards)

Mar 12, 2025

Vanessa Van Edwards, a body language expert and author of the bestseller Cues, shares fascinating insights into relationship dynamics. She reveals that a single behavior can predict divorce with alarming accuracy. From discussing the silent cues that shape emotional connections to the real dangers of resentment, Vanessa emphasizes the importance of clear communication. She also discusses her journey from social awkwardness to confidence and explores how nonverbal cues and even Botox can alter emotions and perceptions in relationships.

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INSIGHT

Aggressively Like To Be Likable

Likability comes from genuinely liking others, not being the funniest or smartest.
Aggressively liking people makes you more likable in micro moments of connection.

ADVICE

Broadcast Your Allergies Early

Only spend time with people you truly want to be around, not those you feel ambivalent about.
Broadcast your 'allergies' like being vegan early to find compatible friends or partners faster.

INSIGHT

Botox Alters Emotional Feedback

Botox inhibits facial expressions and alters emotions due to the facial feedback hypothesis.
Getting Botox on anger lines reduced feelings of anger for Vanessa personally.

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The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work

A Practical Guide from the Country's Foremost Relationship Expert

John Gottman

Nan Silver

This book, written by John Gottman and Nan Silver, is based on Gottman's extensive research on couples and their relationships. It outlines seven principles that couples can follow to nurture their friendship, resolve conflicts effectively, and create a shared sense of meaning. The principles include enhancing 'love maps,' nurturing fondness and admiration, turning toward each other, letting each other influence, solving solvable problems, overcoming gridlock, and creating shared meaning. The book also warns against the 'Four Horsemen' of criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling, which can predict the demise of a marriage. Packed with exercises, questionnaires, and real-life examples, this guide helps couples improve their communication, intimacy, and overall relationship quality.

Cues

Master the Secret Language of Charismatic Communication

Vanessa Van Edwards

In this book, Vanessa Van Edwards teaches readers how to convey power, trust, leadership, likeability, and charisma in every interaction. The book focuses on the tiny signals we send to others through our body language, facial expressions, word choice, and vocal inflection. It provides practical advice on how to read and decode these cues, as well as how to encode positive cues to enhance communication. The book is filled with well-researched behavioral topics and real-life case studies, making it an indispensable guide for entrepreneurs, team leaders, young professionals, and anyone seeking to improve their social interactions and become more influential.

Just Mercy

A Story of Justice and Redemption

Bryan Stevenson

Just Mercy is a personal narrative by Bryan Stevenson that delves into his decades-long work with the Equal Justice Initiative, a nonprofit law office dedicated to defending marginalized Americans. The book centers around the case of Walter McMillan, a black man falsely accused and sentenced to death for the murder of a white woman in Alabama. Stevenson recounts the systemic injustices, racial biases, and legal battles involved in McMillan's case, as well as other cases of clients he has represented. The book highlights the flaws in the U.S. criminal justice system, particularly its treatment of people of color and the poor, and advocates for compassion and mercy in the pursuit of true justice.