The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast

Rupture and Repair with Jory Agate

Nov 1, 2024

Jory Agate, an IFS trainer and therapist from Cambridge, Massachusetts, dives into profound themes of rupture and repair, and the significance of grief. She explains how these concepts are essential in nurturing relationships and suggests that real repair requires accountability and genuine listening. Jory emphasizes that grief work can lead to unburdening past hurts and fostering self-compassion. By acknowledging our vulnerable parts, we open pathways to healing, ultimately choosing to reinforce our connections even after conflicts.

43:39

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Episode guests

Jory Agate

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Quick takeaways

Rupture and repair are essential to relationships, requiring accountability and genuine listening to rebuild trust after conflict.

Grief work is vital in IFS therapy, allowing individuals to confront unaddressed emotional pain and foster self-compassion.

Deep dives

The Importance of Community Living

The discussion highlights the value of co-housing as a model for communal living, emphasizing the interconnectedness among neighbors. Participants share experiences of living in a co-housing community that fosters shared spaces such as kitchens, dining areas, and recreational facilities designed for interaction and support. This arrangement encourages a deeper understanding and support system within the community, reminiscent of traditional village life. By living closely with others and sharing resources, inhabitants create meaningful connections that nurture mental and emotional well-being.

Intro

4min

Healing with Internal Family Systems

12min

Navigating Ruptures and Repairs in Relationships

22min

Embracing Connection Through Grief and Rupture

2min

A Passion for Creativity and Artistic Exploration

2min

Sweet Conversations and Community Appreciation

2min

Episode Summary: On today’s episode I chat with Jory Agate, IFS trainer, Approved IFS Clinical Consultant, and IFS Certified Therapist. We explore two of Jory’s favorite topics and areas of expertise: rupture and repair, and grief. She will be offering a two-day workshop on grief through Life Architect in November 15 and 16 called IFS is Grief Work: Healing Unattended Losses.

Key Takeaways:

Rupture and repair are natural parts of all relationships
IFS offers a path to engage with parts that arise during conflict
Repair involves accountability and listening rather than just apologizing
The importance of centering the impacted person’s needs in the repair process
Grief work is a core component of IFS
Self does not get overwhelmed; it can be with anything
How can we hold space for our grief without feeling overwhelmed?
"When we can acknowledge our exiles and help protectors relax, we open the door to real healing."
Grieving unmet needs or past hurts allows us to unburden exiles and foster self-compassion.

My Favorite Quote: "Rupture is inevitable, but repair is a choice that builds stronger relationships. When we show up with self-energy, we’re more likely to meet others’ self-energy in return." – Jory Agate

About Jory Agate: Jory Agate is a certified IFS trainer and therapist based in Cambridge, Massachusetts. With a background in parish ministry, Jory brings her commitment to healing, relationships, and community into her IFS practice and teaching.

Episode Sponsor: Life Architect

Watch video Clips from select episodes on The One Inside on YouTube

Follow Tammy on Instagram @ifstammy and on Facebook at The One Inside with Tammy Sollenberger.

Jeff Schrum co-produces The One Inside Podcast. He is a writer, counselor, and IFS Level 1 practitioner.

Are you new to IFS or want a simple way to get to know yourself? Tammy's book, "The One Inside: Thirty Days to your Authentic Self" is a PERFECT place to start.

Tammy is grateful for Jack Reardon who created music for the podcast. Jack is a graduate of Derek Scott’s IFS Stepping Stones Program.

If you are interested in sponsoring an episode or two of The One Inside Podcast please contact Tammy at tammysollenberger@comcast.net

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The One Inside: An Internal Family Systems (IFS) podcast

Rupture and Repair with Jory Agate

Episode guests