Why Awkward is Awesome with psychologist Ty Tashiro
Jan 30, 2024
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Psychologist Ty Tashiro, author studying social awkwardness, discusses the advantages of being awkward, what socially fluent individuals can learn from awkward people, and navigating conversations in loud clubs. Explore the correlation between social awkwardness and exceptional achievement, the qualities awkward people possess, and how embracing awkwardness can lead to success in life and relationships.
Being socially awkward can lead to extraordinary achievements and creativity, as awkward people often have a strong focus and obsession with their interests.
Awkward individuals offer a unique perspective, diversity in thinking, and innovative solutions to problems, while also demonstrating kindness, trustworthiness, and empathy.
Deep dives
The Advantages of Social Awkwardness
Being socially awkward has some significant advantages, according to psychologist Tai Tashiro. Awkward people often have a strong focus and obsession with their interests, leading to extraordinary achievements and creativity. They bring a unique perspective and diversity to a group's thinking, offering innovative solutions to problems. Furthermore, awkward individuals are often kind, trustworthy, and empathetic, making them excellent listeners and a source of support for others. Socially fluent people can learn from their determination, persistence, and ability to think outside the box.
The Impact of Awkwardness in Adolescence
Awkwardness is particularly common in adolescence due to the rapid changes, both physical and mental, that occur during this stage of life. The increased abstract reasoning and the emergence of popularity expectations create a gap between social expectations and a person's ability to meet them. This mismatch contributes to the feelings of awkwardness among teenagers. However, embracing different social environments and understanding one's strengths and preferences can help navigate these challenges more comfortably.
The Role of Genetics
Awkwardness shows a significant heritability, suggesting a genetic component to its prevalence. Researchers have found that socially awkward traits are passed down through generations. While it is not entirely clear why awkward people have not been selected out in evolution, one possible explanation is the correlation between awkwardness and extraordinary achievement. Awkward individuals possess great determination, persistence, and an obsessive interest in their fields of expertise, which contribute to their exceptional accomplishments.
Learning from Awkwardness
Socially fluent individuals can learn valuable lessons from awkward people. Awkward individuals demonstrate kindness, trustworthiness, and empathy, qualities that are vital in building meaningful relationships. They also offer a fresh perspective on problem-solving, as they see the world in a unique and often bottom-up way. Socially fluent individuals can benefit from being more observant, slowing down, and considering how others may be struggling in social situations. By adopting these insights, socially fluent people can enhance their own social interactions and understanding of others.
Awkwardness gets a bad rap, but the trait is often an indicator that someone is extraordinary.
Psychologist and author Ty Tashiro has spent a great deal of time studying (and living!) social awkwardness. He's fascinated by how the same traits that cause us social embarrassment can also drive exceptional accomplishment.
As a fellow awkward person myself, I thoroughly enjoyed this conversation with Ty about the advantages of being awkward, what the socially fluent can learn from awkward people, and the best way to navigate conversations in loud clubs.