Optimal Relationships Daily - Dating, Marriage & Parenting

2013: Why Apologize to Your Young Adult if it Didn’t Happen or You Don’t Remember it? by Dr. Jack Stoltzfus of Parents Letting Go on Emotional Healing

Dec 28, 2023

10:48

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Dr. Jack Stoltzfus, expert on parent-young adult relationships, explores the transformative power of apologies. He stresses the importance of acknowledging past actions, even when memories are unclear. Apologizing fosters emotional healing and stronger familial bonds.

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Quick takeaways

Apologizing to young adults, even if the parent doesn't recall the event or believes it didn't happen, is crucial for repairing and strengthening the parent-young adult relationship.

Validating young adults' feelings about past incidents and acknowledging their experience helps promote a healthier emotional separation between parent and young adult.

Deep dives

The Power of Apologizing to Young Adults

Apologizing to young adults, even if the parent doesn't recall the event or believes it didn't happen, is crucial for repairing and strengthening the parent-young adult relationship. Dr. Jack Stoltzfuss emphasizes the importance of apologizing as a way for parents to move beyond the need to defend or justify their actions, prioritizing emotional well-being over being right. Apologizing is seen as a gift that sets both the parent and young adult free from resentment and blame, enabling the young adult to let go of anger and the parent to take responsibility for their parenting. It also models the importance of taking responsibility for one's actions and challenges young adults to do the same.

Introduction

5min

The Significance of Emotional Separation and Apologizing to Young Adults

4min

The Power of Apologizing for Parent-Young Adult Relationships

4min

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Episode 2013:

Dr. Jack Stoltzfus, in his insightful article, emphasizes the transformative power of apologies in the dynamics of parent-young adult relationships. He advocates for acknowledging past actions, even when memories are unclear, as a vital step in nurturing love and responsibility, transcending the need to be right for the sake of emotional healing and stronger familial bonds.

Read along with the original article(s) here: https://parentslettinggo.com/why-apologize-to-your-young-adult-if-it-didnt-happen-or-you-dont-remember-it/

Quotes to ponder:

"Perceptions are our reality."

"Apologizing is the loving, and right thing to do that will set us as parents free, free our young adults, and help restore the relationship."

"An apology is a gift we give to our young adult to enable the young adult to let go of the anger and resentment."

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