HBR On Leadership

Managing Your Emotions During an Argument at Work

Apr 24, 2024

Amy Gallo, a workplace conflict expert and HBR contributing editor, shares insightful strategies to manage emotions during workplace arguments. She discusses how to recognize when you’re in fight-or-flight mode and emphasizes the importance of emotional labeling and mindfulness. Gallo provides actionable techniques, like focusing on breath to regain composure and the value of taking breaks when emotions run high. Her expertise offers listeners practical tools to navigate tough conversations with greater ease and emotional intelligence.

09:13

Episode guests

Amy Gallo

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Quick takeaways

Acknowledge and label negative emotions during conflict to stay calm and rational.

Utilize self-regulation techniques like physical anchoring and mindful breathing to navigate difficult conversations effectively.

Deep dives

Managing Conflicts in the Heat of the Moment

When faced with conflict, it's common to automatically resort to fight or flight responses, as highlighted by workplace conflict expert Amy Gallo. To navigate these situations effectively, it's crucial to first acknowledge and label the negative emotions you are experiencing. By focusing on your breath, body sensations, and potentially taking a break, you can create space to process intense emotions, promoting a more productive discussion. Interrupting the physiological responses triggered by conflicts allows for real-time de-escalation and presents an opportunity to stay calm and rational.

Managing Physiological Reactions in Stressful Situations

01:29

Navigating Workplace Conflicts with Emotional Awareness

2min

Navigating Emotions in Workplace Conflicts

7min

When you’re in the middle of a conflict, it’s common to automatically enter fight-or-flight mode.

But HBR contributing editor and workplace conflict expert Amy Gallo says it’s possible to interrupt this response, stay calm, and find a path towards a more productive discussion. In this episode, you’ll learn some simple techniques that will help you manage your emotions when conflict arises at work.

First try to distance yourself from the negative emotion you’re feeling by labeling it. Then focus on your breath and your body. And if you need to — take a break and give yourself time to process your intense emotions.

Gallo also cohosts HBR’s Women at Work podcast, and her most recent book is Getting Along: How to Work with Anyone (Even Difficult People).

Key episode topics include: leadership, emotional intelligence, difficult conversations, managing yourself.

HBR On Leadership curates the best case studies and conversations with the world’s top business and management experts, to help you unlock the best in those around you. New episodes every week.

· Watch the original HBR Guide episode: How to Control Your Emotions During a Difficult Conversation: The Harvard Business Review Guide (2022)

· Find more episodes of the HBR Guide series on YouTube.

· Discover 100 years of Harvard Business Review articles, case studies, podcasts, and more at HBR.org.