Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen

Really Hearing Our Own Voices (Carol Gilligan): GROWING UP

Jul 29, 2024

Carol Gilligan, a renowned psychologist and author, dives into the societal pressures shaping boys and girls from a young age. She discusses how boys feel compelled to be tough, while girls grapple with the burden of perfection. Gilligan emphasizes the need to recognize the impact of gender roles on emotional health and the importance of amplifying women's voices in psychology. The conversation also touches on the struggles of modern motherhood, societal expectations, and the journey towards authentic self-expression.

54:17

Episode guests

Carol Gilligan

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Quick takeaways

Gender norms significantly shape boys and girls' identities, influencing their social behaviors and emotional expressions from a young age.

Carol Gilligan's groundbreaking research revealed that traditional psychological studies have historically neglected women's experiences and moral development.

Cultural narratives enforcing rigid gender roles hinder women's self-expression and foster competition, emphasizing the need for nurturing qualities in all individuals.

Deep dives

Impact of Gender Norms on Development

Research indicates that gender norms significantly impact the development of boys and girls, shaping their identities and social behaviors. According to Carol Gilligan, girls are conditioned to prioritize relationships and fear exclusion, whereas boys are pressured to adopt toughness to fit in. This leads to a divergence in moral reasoning, where girls often feel compelled to suppress their true feelings to maintain social harmony. Consequently, the societal expectation for girls to be agreeable can adversely affect their self-expression and confidence.

Intro

3min

The Impact of Carol Gilligan's Work

14min

Navigating Parenting Pressures: Breastfeeding and Formula Choices

3min

Rethinking Gender Roles

10min

Exploring Gender, Voice, and the Art of Listening

4min

Unveiling Emotional Truths

5min

Navigating Motherhood and the Struggle for Women's Voices

4min

Empowerment Through Choice

10min

Societal Pressures and Teenage Voices

5min

Dr. Carol Gilligan is an esteemed professor and developmental psychologist, who is the author of a landmark book called In a Different Voice—a book that I talk about and write about all the time. Back in the ‘80s—Gilligan is 87 now and still working—she looked at all the research from the likes of Lawrence Kohlberg and Piaget and made a stunning and obvious realization: These developmental psychologist giants had only ever studied boys. Typically white, middle-class boys. In response, Gilligan did a study on girls and moral development, a groundbreaking look into how culture genders our response to the world: Gilligan found that for girls, morality is relational and rooted in care—not so much law—and that fear of separation from relationship encouraged these girls to stop saying what they know. She struggled to get this study published—it was rejected multiple times—and has since become the most requested reprint out of Harvard. It also became the subject of In a Different Voice, which has sold 500,000 copies—unheard of in academic publishing. Everything that Carol Gilligan shares with us in this conversation is a revelation and also deeply resonant—and something you will know to be true. Before I go, if you missed Niobe Way’s episode from a few weeks ago, tune in to that next—Niobe was Carol’s student, and has done for boys what Carol has done for girls.

MORE FROM CAROL GILLIGAN:

In a Different Voice

In a Human Voice

Why Does Patriarchy Persist?

Carol Gilligan’s Website

Niobe Way’s Episode: “The Critical Need for Deep Connection”

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