Why We’re Wired to Imitate Others & How to Have a Great Conversation
Feb 27, 2025
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This conversation features R. Alexander Bentley, an anthropology professor and co-author of "I'll Have What She's Having," alongside Alison Wood Brooks, a Harvard Business School expert in conversational dynamics. They explore the fascinating concept of human imitation, revealing how much of our behavior, from driving to dining, stems from copying others. They'll also discuss the vital skills necessary for effective communication, highlighting how mastering the art of conversation can enhance personal and professional relationships.
Cooking certain vegetables can enhance their nutritional value, contradicting the belief that raw vegetables are always healthier.
Human behavior is largely shaped by imitation, highlighting the importance of social cues in learning and cultural transmission.
Deep dives
Cooking Vegetables Can Enhance Health Benefits
Some vegetables actually become healthier when cooked, countering the common belief that raw is always better. For instance, boiling carrots increases their cancer-fighting carotenoids by 14%, while cooking mushrooms enhances their potassium, niacin, zinc, and magnesium content significantly. Spinach also offers more absorbable calcium and iron after cooking, demonstrating that proper preparation can maximize nutritional intake. Other examples include asparagus, which sees a 16% rise in key nutrients when cooked, and tomatoes, whose cancer-fighting lycopene levels increase with heat, highlighting the importance of cooking in dietary habits.
Humans Are Social Learners by Nature
Despite the belief that humans are independently rational beings, much of human behavior is influenced by social interactions. Research shows that individuals frequently look to others for cues on how to act, as demonstrated by babies imitating their parents almost immediately or adults echoing choices made by peers in social settings, like at a restaurant. This tendency to follow the actions of others, which is beneficial for survival, extends across generations, illustrating how knowledge and preferences can be passed down culturally. The implications of this behavior not only shape personal choices but also affect broader societal trends such as language and culture.
The Anatomy of Great Conversations
The structure of effective conversations involves a complex interplay of interruptions, misunderstandings, and moments of connection. A transcript of a successful discussion might reveal frequent interjections and a chaotic exchange yet still culminate in a satisfying experience for both participants. The essence of good conversation lies in active listening, where participants focus on each other's words and nonverbal cues, engaging with the content to build rapport. This suggests that even amidst the turmoil of dialogue, moments of genuine connection can strengthen relationships.
Ending Conversations without Awkwardness
Finishing a conversation can often be challenging due to social norms and expectations, leading to discomfort. Research indicates that individuals lack clarity on when and how to wrap up a dialogue, which can result in prolonged, unproductive interactions. To alleviate this, it is suggested that one should proactively end conversations when they sense a decline in mutual interest or energy, thus avoiding any lingering awkwardness. The idea here is to prioritize the quality of interaction, allowing for a natural and respectful conclusion whenever appropriate.
You probably think raw vegetables are healthier than cooked vegetables. Sometimes they are. But some common veggies get a nutrient boost from the right kind of heat. This episode begins with several of those vegetables and an explanation of how cooking makes them better for you. https://www.scientificamerican.com/article/raw-veggies-are-healthier/
Humans are wired to imitate others like no other creature on earth. In fact, almost everything you do today is the result of imitating someone else at some point in your life. But wait! Aren’t we independent thinkers with intelligence and ability to think for ourselves? Yes, but according to my guest the primary way you learn everything is by copying others – from driving a car, writing a letter, eating a meal, everything you’ve learned how to do came from imitating others. Here to explain why this is important to understand is R. Alexander Bentley, Professor and Chair of the Department of Anthropology at the University of Tennessee and coauthor of the book, I'll Have What She's Having: Mapping Social Behavior (https://amzn.to/4kbT4NK).
Your conversational skills are key to your success in every aspect of your life. People like people who speak well. Yet, I suspect no one ever really taught you how to converse. You just do it. Conversation is both an art and a science. And someone who studies it is my guest Alison Wood Brooks, Professor of Business Administration and Hellman Faculty Fellow at the Harvard Business School. She is author of the book TALK: The Science of Conversation and the Art of Being Ourselves (https://amzn.to/4bgzWtF). Listen as she reveals the anatomy of good conversation and what can often go wrong.
One of the cool things about a snowfall is how quiet it is afterwards. And it’s not just quiet – it’s a different kind of quiet. Why is that? Listen as I reveal the science of the quiet after a new fallen snow. Source: Kathy Wollard author of How Come (https://amzn.to/3XfrMvN).
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