Amy Alkon, an applied scientist and author, discusses topics such as using fear as a tool for change, the value of action, the importance of secure self-esteem, reducing shame, and strategies for dating. She also explores the concept of being tethered to a specific scientific paradigm and the role of small wins. The podcast emphasizes the importance of being true to oneself and feeling empowered in life.
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Quick takeaways
Taking action is important for overcoming fears and transforming ourselves.
Embracing fear as a natural response can lead to courage and positive changes.
Rejecting the victim mentality and choosing empowerment can shift the dynamics of our interactions.
Deep dives
The Power of Authentic Relationships
The best relationships are the ones that allow us to be our true selves and where we are truly seen and understood. E-Harmony, the number one trusted dating app, aims to create these authentic connections by helping users show up as their authentic selves. By focusing on finding people we truly connect with, we can form the most genuine and meaningful relationships.
Living with Guts and Confidence
Amy Alcott, a transdisciplinary applied scientist, shares insights from her book 'Unfuckology: A Field Guide to Living with Guts and Confidence'. She emphasizes the importance of taking action to transform ourselves, rather than relying on therapy or simply being authentic without intention. By choosing values and behaving authentically to those values, we can ultimately rewire our brains for a more confident and empowered default behavior.
Acting and Thinking with Courage
Amy encourages readers to act with courage, even in the face of fear. She highlights the power of small wins and the importance of recognizing that failure and setbacks are part of the growth process. By understanding that fear is not a reason to avoid action, but rather a natural response, we can embrace courage and make positive changes in our lives.
Shame and Self-Esteem
Amy discusses shame as a protective emotional program that aims to prevent us from being devalued by others. She challenges the myth that shame is a reflection of our inherent worthiness, stressing the importance of understanding the evolutionary role of shame in our social interactions. Additionally, Amy explores the concept of self-esteem as an appraisal of other people's appraisal of us, highlighting the need for recognition and approval from others.
Refusing to be a Victim
Amy encourages readers to reject the victim mentality and instead choose to be empowered. She shares research suggesting that individuals who display victim-like behaviors are more likely to be targeted by others. By refusing to act as victims and adopting a mindset of self-respect and courage, we can shift the dynamics of our interactions and avoid being victimized.
Today it’s great to have Amy Alkon on the podcast. Amy Alkon is a “transdisciplinary applied scientist”, who synthesizes research findings from various areas, translates the findings into understandable language, and then creates practical advice based on the latest science. Alkon writes The Science Advice Goddess, an award-winning, syndicated column that runs in newspapers across the United States and Canada. She is also the author of Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ckand I See Rude People. She has been on Good Morning America, The Today Show, NPR, CNN, MTV, and does a weekly science podcast. She has written for Psychology Today, Los Angeles Times, Los Angeles Times Magazine, the New York Daily News, among others, and has given a TED talk. She is the President of the Applied Evolutionary Psychology Society, and she lives in Venice, California. Amy’s latest book is Unf*ckology: A Field Guide to Living With Guts and Confidence.
In this episode you will learn:
The importance of action for overcoming your fears
How people-pleasing backfires
How you can use fear as a tool for change
How to “impersonate your way to being the real you”