654: How to Help Others Be Seen and Heard, with Scott Shigeoka

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Nov 13, 2023

Scott Shigeoka, an internationally recognized curiosity expert and author, discusses the transformative power of curiosity in leadership. He emphasizes that curiosity should extend beyond mere information gathering; it's crucial for fostering genuine connections. Scott highlights the value of phrases like 'Tell me more' to make team members feel seen and heard. He also addresses the fear of saying 'I don't know,' showcasing how vulnerability can enhance relationships. Inclusivity and storytelling play key roles in combating societal disconnection and fostering innovation.

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INSIGHT

Curiosity's True Purpose

Managers often limit curiosity to information gathering.
Deeper curiosity helps create connections and see others.

ADVICE

Admit Uncertainty

Saying "I don't know" can be powerful.
It demonstrates intellectual humility and builds trust.

ADVICE

Respond to Bids for Attention

Recognize bids for attention.
Respond with "Tell me more" to foster connection.

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Scott Shigeoka: Seek

Scott Shigeoka is an internationally recognized curiosity expert, speaker, and author. He is known for translating research into strategies that promote positive well-being and connected relationships around the globe, including at the UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center and through his popular courses at the University of Texas at Austin.

Scott implements his curiosity practices with leaders in the public sector, Fortune 500 companies, Hollywood, media organizations, education institutions, and small businesses. He is the author of Seek: How Curiosity Can Transform Your Life and Change the World*.

Often we think about curiosity as a way to get information. And yes, it does do that, but there’s a much bigger opportunity that many leaders miss — taking the next step with curiosity to actually help connect better with others. In this episode, Scott and I highlight four phrases that will help you do that better.

Key Points

It’s a mistake to limit the purpose of curiosity to only information gathering. Deep curiosity can be one of the best ways to create connection.
Saying, “I don’t know,” may elicit fear in a lot of us, but leaders who can do this are often perceived and more competent in their work.
The invitation to, “Tell me more,” is a way to respond to a bid from someone for attention that opens to door to feeling seen and heard.
Even if you don’t literally say the words, “I understand that you’re more than your job,” making that clear in your conversations helps limit work-life conflict and uncovers better ways to support others.
We tend to have a bias in the workplace for the people who traditionally have the “answers.” Asking, “Who else?” opens the door to surfacing the best ideas, regardless of who they originate with.

Resources Mentioned

Seek: How Curiosity Can Transform Your Life and Change the World* by Scott Shigeoka
4 Phrases That Build a Culture of Curiosity by Scott Shigeoka

Interview Notes

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Related Episodes

How to Be Present, with Dave Crenshaw (episode 511)
How to Inspire More Curiosity, with Shannon Minifie (episode 520)
How to Genuinely Show Up for Others, with Marshall Goldsmith (episode 590)

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