Feel Better, Live More with Dr Rangan Chatterjee

7 Ways We Self-Sabotage and How To Stop with Dr Ramani Durvasula #332

162 snips

Feb 1, 2023

Dr. Ramani Durvasula, a clinical psychologist and expert on narcissistic personality disorder, shares insights into self-sabotage and its many forms. She discusses how procrastination, social comparison, and perfectionism derail personal goals and relationships. Dr. Ramani highlights the importance of self-reflection and authenticity amid societal pressures. Listeners gain practical strategies for overcoming self-criticism, fostering deeper connections, and navigating toxic relationships, ultimately advocating for compassion and adaptability in personal growth.

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ADVICE

Overcoming Procrastination

Break down large tasks into smaller, manageable chunks, like 15-minute intervals.
This makes tasks less daunting and helps build momentum, overcoming procrastination.

INSIGHT

Root of Procrastination

Procrastination often stems from avoiding the pain or discomfort associated with a task.
By understanding the underlying fear or insecurity, procrastination loses its power.

ADVICE

Self-Reflection

Regularly ask yourself: "Who am I? What do I stand for? What matters to me?".
This self-reflection helps define your values and reduces the impact of social comparison.

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This week’s episode is all about a subject familiar to many of us: self-sabotage. Whether it’s the inability to stick to our health goals, leave a toxic relationship, or get that promotion, we often seem to be our own worst enemies. Self-sabotage is a spectrum of feelings, beliefs, and behaviours, but they all set us up to fail.

Dr Ramani Durvasula is a clinical psychologist and Professor of Psychology at California State University, and a world-renowned expert on narcissistic personality disorder. She’s written two books on the subject, Should I Stay or Should I Go and Don’t You Know Who I Am. She hosts the podcast Navigating Narcissism, and posts regularly on her YouTube channel, which has over 1 million subscribers.

In this conversation, we talk about relationships not with others, but with ourselves. Dr Ramani talks us through the common ways in which many of us self-sabotage, including procrastination, social comparison, taking on too much and not living in alignment with our values. She explains their links to anxiety and perfectionism and shares the practical solutions that she uses with clients to overcome them. If you’ve ever considered having therapy, Dr Ramani provides some useful insights about how it can work.

We discuss a wide range of topics, including why so many of us stick around in toxic, unsupportive relationships, the importance of cultivating friendships and communities outside the home and not expecting our romantic partner to be all things to us. And you’ll hear Dr Ramani explain a new way of thinking about our inner critic.

Dr Ramani has decades of real world experience helping her clients, she is a brilliant communicator and this is a conversation full of fresh insights and practical insights that you are going to be able to implement immediately.

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Show notes https://drchatterjee.com/332

DISCLAIMER: The content in the podcast and on this webpage is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your doctor or qualified healthcare provider with any questions you may have. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have heard on the podcast or on my website.