48: Darlene Lancer on Breaking-Up: Should You Leave Or Can You Get the Change You Want?
Aug 27, 2014
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Darlene Lancer, a licensed marriage and family therapist with 25 years of experience, shares her insights on relationship dynamics and breaking up. She emphasizes the importance of self-assessment and communication, particularly for those in codependent relationships. Darlene discusses the path to individual fulfillment, urging listeners to prioritize their happiness before seeking joy from others. She also highlights recognizing abuse and the necessity of setting boundaries, helping individuals navigate the complexities of intimacy and autonomy.
Effective communication and intimacy are essential for nurturing relationships, enabling partners to express needs openly and encouraging emotional connection.
Individuals must recognize their own responsibility for happiness, seeking personal fulfillment outside the relationship to relieve emotional pressure.
Deep dives
Strengthening Relationships with Communication and Intimacy
Effective communication and intimacy are crucial for fostering strong relationships. The course discussed provides couples with tools and exercises aimed at improving these aspects, enabling partners to express their needs and desires more openly. By learning strategies from professional therapists, participants can eliminate unhelpful habits and establish healthier communication patterns. This approach not only enhances emotional connection but also encourages couples to infuse their relationships with new energy, preventing stagnation in their bond.
Understanding Personal Needs and Responsibilities
An essential part of assessing a relationship is understanding that each partner is responsible for their own happiness. Many individuals mistakenly expect their partner to fulfill all emotional needs and desires, which can lead to frustration and resentment. Recognizing and articulating personal needs, rather than relying solely on a partner, is key to developing a balanced and fulfilling relationship. Building a wider support system and pursuing individual interests can help meet emotional needs, which in turn relieves pressure on the partnership.
Identifying and Addressing Issues in Relationships
To evaluate the health of a relationship, individuals should pay close attention to their feelings around their partner. It is important to distinguish between positive and negative experiences, as some relationships may drain emotional energy rather than nurture it. If feelings of fear or discomfort arise, it may indicate deeper issues, such as emotional or verbal abuse. In these situations, open conversations or counseling may provide clarity, helping partners determine if they can address the concerns or if a separation is necessary for personal well-being.
Join us as Darlene Lancer shares her expertise on creating a fulfilling and successful relationship. In this episode, Darlene gives relationship advice on breaking up and whether you should leave or try to get the change you want.
Darlene Lancer is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and expert on relationships and codependency. She’s the author of two books: Codependency for Dummies and Conquering Shame and Codependency: 8 Steps to Freeing the True You and two ebooks:10 Steps to Self-Esteem and How To Speak Your Mind - Become Assertive and Set Limits. Ms. Lancer has counseled individuals and couples for 25 years and coaches internationally. She’s a sought after speaker to national audiences on radio and to professional groups and institutions. Her articles appear in professional journals and many online mental health websites.