Respectful Parenting: Janet Lansbury Unruffled Threats and Bribes Aren't Very Helpful (What to Do Instead)
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Dec 23, 2025 A parent struggles with bribing and threatening her young child for cooperation, feeling guilty about boundaries. The discussion highlights how such tactics undermine trust and intrinsic motivation. A strong relationship is deemed essential for encouraging cooperation, while bribes often create an adversarial dynamic. Janet emphasizes the importance of compassionate leadership and suggests setting clear but kind limits. Routines and involving children can improve collaboration, ultimately building a more respectful family atmosphere.
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Rewards Can Kill Intrinsic Motivation
- Rewards undermine intrinsic motivation by turning enjoyable activities into work.
- Janet Lansbury warns that kids may stop enjoying activities when they become conditional on rewards.
Art Major Became A Hobby Again
- Janet Lansbury shares her daughter's art-major experience to show how pressure changes enjoyment.
- Her daughter still enjoys art as a hobby after leaving it as a career due to external demands.
Relationship Is The Real Tool
- Bribes and threats damage the parent-child relationship by creating an us-vs-them dynamic.
- Janet Lansbury emphasizes trust and mutual respect as the real tools for cooperation.
