Good Inside with Dr. Becky Helping Kids Through Loss with Grief Expert David Kessler
19 snips
Dec 9, 2025 
In this conversation, grief expert David Kessler, known for his extensive work on bereavement, shares insights on how to help children navigate loss. He discusses how kids often blame themselves and the importance of honesty and connection in their grieving process. David emphasizes the value of modeling grief for children and the complexities of talking about death. With poignant anecdotes from his own life, he highlights that grief can transform into love and the necessity of teaching children healthy coping skills.
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A Childhood Marked By Chaotic Loss
- David Kessler recounts his mother's death and chaotic experience at 13, including a hotel fire and shooting.
- Those events led him to feel damaged and eventually pursue studying grief to heal himself.
Children Personalize Loss To Regain Control
- Children often personalize loss and assume it's their fault as a way to regain control.
- David Kessler says kids prefer guilt to helplessness because guilt creates an illusion of control.
Grief Is Love And Unwanted Change
- Kessler defines grief as two things: grief is love and grief is a change we didn't want.
- This simple framing helps parents name and normalize many forms of loss beyond death.