Saturn Returns with Caggie Alain de Botton: What Does It Really Take to Find and Maintain Love Today?
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Feb 17, 2025 
Caggie is joined by Alain de Botton, a philosopher and founder of The School of Life, focusing on emotional well-being. They unravel the evolution of love and the challenges of modern dating, discussing how technology and apps reshape relationships. Emotional intelligence emerges as crucial for lasting connections. They delve into attachment styles, childhood influences on expectations, and the fact that love is a skill requiring constant effort. With practical advice, this conversation redefines how we approach intimacy and communication in the digital age.
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Build Emotional Communities Not Just Content
- Alain de Botton created the School of Life to turn ideas about emotional intelligence into a community and practice.
- He believes technology enables this but embodied human connection remains crucial.
Public Space Needs Gentle Encouragement
- Public spaces are mostly anonymous and silent, which prevents meaningful connection.
- Simple nudges (e.g., 'chatty carriage') could encourage people to talk more in public.
Don't Weaponize Clinical Labels
- Psychotherapy built a vocabulary for emotional life but can lead to over-pathologising others.
- Alain warns that excluding everyone with 'red flags' risks leaving you completely alone.