Am I Settling? Am I Losing Myself? Relationship Anxiety - Uncut with Georgie Collinson
Mar 27, 2025
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In this engaging discussion, anxiety therapist Georgie Collinson, author of 'Master Your Relationship Anxiety,' unpacks the complexities of relationship anxiety. She distinguishes between genuine red flags and anxious thoughts, offering insights into the four types of relationship anxiety. Georgie reveals how past traumas shape our connections and emphasizes the importance of emotional safety. Listeners learn to break unhealthy patterns and explore the difference between chaotic and stable love, ultimately advocating for fulfilling, less anxious relationships.
Relationship anxiety often leads individuals to question their worth and compatibility, blurring the lines between genuine red flags and anxious tendencies.
Understanding the three phases of love—base love, chaotic love, and expansive love—can help individuals navigate their emotional landscape for healthier relationships.
Deep dives
Understanding Relationship Anxiety
Relationship anxiety manifests as various fears regarding trust, self-worth, and future stability within romantic connections. Individuals may question if they are settling for less or if their partner is genuinely invested. Common thoughts associated with relationship anxiety include feelings of inadequacy, fears of abandonment, or concerns about not being good enough for their partner. This anxiety often stems from past experiences and can complicate one’s capacity to form stable relationships.
The Phases of Love
Three distinct phases of love—base love, chaotic love, and expansive love—illustrate the evolution of relationships as individuals navigate their emotional landscapes. Base love is characterized by stability but may lack deep emotional connection, while chaotic love contains intense passion but can lead to instability and anxiety. Expansive love, the desired phase, involves mutual growth and stability, allowing partners to flourish together. Moving through these phases often requires self-awareness and confronting past patterns that can lead to repeated cycles of anxiety.
Self-Perception and Choice
A significant barrier to achieving fulfilling relationships is the internal belief of unworthiness, which can create a cycle of settling for unsuitable partners. Individuals often feel that they must endure unhealthy habits or behaviors in relationships due to a learned helplessness from childhood experiences. Recognizing and addressing this inner dialogue leads to healthier decision-making and relationship choices. By fostering self-love and understanding one’s needs, individuals can break the cycle of negative patterns and build more supportive connections.
Tools for Recognizing Patterns
Developing awareness of relationship dynamics can help individuals distinguish between their personal anxieties and genuine red flags in a partnership. Techniques such as consciously observing behaviors in oneself and their partner allow for better understanding of emotional responses. Journaling or talking through feelings with trusted individuals can also provide perspective when interpreting relationship challenges. This self-reflection is essential for breaking generational patterns and ultimately choosing healthier relationships moving forward.
Have you ever been in a relationship where you asked “am I settling?” What about am I losing myself, what if I’m not good enough and is this type of relationship normal? Sometimes, particularly if you might be a bit of an anxious person already, it can be really hard to tell the difference between relationship anxiety and genuine red flags or signs that you might actually not be compatible.
Today we have anxiety therapist, host of The Anxiety Reset Podcast and author Georgie Collinson joining us to speak about the work she’s done for her new book ‘Master your relationship anxiety.” Georgie’s previous book, The Anxiety Reset Method, reached international success when it was picked for Oprah’s Book Club in 2023 and was featured on Oprah Daily.
We’re going to be speaking about why exactly are you feeling anxious in love, what anxiety is trying to tell you, the four types of relationship anxiety and how it may prevent us from being our best selves in relationships.
We speak about:
How relationship anxiety differs from generalised anxiety
The difference between actual red flags and anxious tendencies
Why we keep having the same relationship patterns and how to break them
The 3 stages of love: base love, chaotic love and expansive love
How to stop being attracted to people who are bad for you
What ‘learned helplessness’ is
A healthy relationship is not boring, settling or dull