The Daily Motivation The 4 Needs Every Child Has (That Modern Society Completely Ignores) | Gabor Maté
Nov 1, 2025
Gabor Maté, a renowned physician and author focused on addiction and childhood development, shares profound insights into parenting dynamics. He discusses how parents' unhealed traumas impact their children even before birth. Maté highlights four essential needs every child has, which modern society often neglects: secure attachment, emotional freedom, rest from adult stresses, and opportunities for free play. He emphasizes that natural emotional experiences and unscheduled playtime are vital for healthy brain development, a stark contrast to contemporary practices.
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Maté's Personal Parenting Admission
- Gabor Maté admits he projected his own unresolved trauma onto his children before doing his inner work.
- He uses his experience to warn parents that parenting will trigger and expose unhealed wounds.
Do Your Healing Work First
- Do your personal healing work before and during parenthood so your unresolved trauma doesn't get projected onto your children.
- Gabor Maté warns that parents' stress affects the child even in the womb, so address your issues early.
Attachment Means Being Welcome
- Secure attachment means a child feels inherently welcome in their parents' presence without needing to prove worthiness.
- Gabor Maté frames this as the primary irreducible need for healthy child development.
