NPR's Book of the Day 'F*** Approval, You Don’t Need It!' makes the case against ‘people pleasers’
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Oct 2, 2025 Lizzie Moult, a Scottish therapist and author, dives into the pitfalls of people-pleasing in her new book, F*** Approval, You Don’t Need It. She discusses how childhood experiences shape people-pleasing behaviors and highlights signs like overworking and suppressing true feelings. Moult shares her personal wake-up call and reveals the mental health impacts of always seeking approval. She offers practical tips to break free, emphasizing mindfulness and setting boundaries to reclaim confidence and identity.
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How People Pleasing Starts
- People pleasing often begins in early childhood when positive responses teach us to seek approval.
- As adults we use it as protection to avoid discomfort and confrontation.
Host Erases Her Own Role
- Lizzie describes organizing an event and leaving no time for herself to present despite being the host.
- She realized she prioritized others so much that she erased her own role at her event.
Silencing Yourself Harms Relationships
- Suppressing your own wants creates frustration and resentment in relationships.
- Hiding truth prevents your identity from emerging and damages intimacy.
