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Single Fathers Are a Growing, But Often Invisible, Demographic

Aug 26, 2025
Ron Poole-Dayan, founder of Men Having Babies, sheds light on the journey of gay men pursuing fatherhood, highlighting their unique challenges. Darby Saxbe, a USC psychology professor, discusses societal perceptions of fatherhood and the evolving identity of single dads. Ken Epstein, a therapist, emphasizes the emotional hurdles single fathers face. Together, they explore the rise of single fathers by choice, the intricacies of surrogacy and adoption, and the importance of community support for these often invisible caregivers.
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INSIGHT

Rise Of Single Fathers By Choice

  • Single fathers by choice are men who are intentionally becoming parents while single, not those made single by divorce or death.
  • Faith Hill links this rise to men valuing caregiving and spending more time with kids, intensified since the pandemic.
ANECDOTE

Personal Journey Into Gay Parenthood

  • Ron Poole-Dayan described becoming a stay-at-home dad and facing awkward social moments at mommy-and-me groups.
  • He also described legal and financial hurdles in surrogacy and persistent societal eyebrow-raising.
ADVICE

Use Research To Counter Criticism

  • Ron recommends consulting peer-reviewed research to rebut claims that children need both a mother and father.
  • He emphasizes that relationship quality and honest parenting determine child outcomes, not family structure.
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