The Whole Parent Podcast

The invisible thing killing your marriage (with Eve Rodsky) #38

Feb 6, 2025

In this engaging conversation, Eve Rodsky, bestselling author of *Fair Play*, reveals the hidden struggles of parenting dynamics. She breaks down the concept of 'invisible labor' that often leaves one partner overwhelmed, discussing how traditional gender roles contribute to inequity. Eve introduces her Fair Play framework, which encourages shared responsibilities and partnership in household management. Listeners will discover practical strategies to shift mindsets, challenge assumptions, and foster a more equitable parenting relationship.

37:54

Episode guests

Eve Rodsky

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Episode notes

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Quick takeaways

The podcast emphasizes that invisible labor often leads to one partner, usually mothers, feeling overwhelmed while the other perceives tasks as equally divided.

Eve Rodsky's 'Fair Play' framework is introduced as a solution to foster shared ownership and accountability in managing household responsibilities.

Deep dives

Understanding Invisible Labor in Parenting

Invisible labor refers to the mental load of parenting and managing a household, which often falls disproportionately on one partner, typically mothers. Even in dual-income households, studies reveal that women, on average, shoulder two-thirds of domestic responsibilities, often leading to feelings of exhaustion and frustration. This dynamic can create feelings of imbalance, as one partner may perceive the division of labor as equal while the other feels overwhelmed. The podcast highlights the necessity of recognizing this invisible labor to foster better relationships and improve the parenting experience.

Intro

4min

Balancing the Load: Rethinking Parental Duties

11min

Navigating Parenting Responsibilities and Towards a Calm Experience

2min

Redefining Parenting Roles

18min

Transforming Partnerships and Advocacy for Parents

2min

IT'S HERE!

Get Punishment-Free Parenting on Audiobook

Why does it feel like one partner carries the weight of managing the home and kids while the other thinks everything is equal? If you've ever felt exhausted by the invisible labor of parenting—or if you've ever felt like nothing you do measures up to your partner’s expectations—this episode is for you.

In this episode of The Whole Parent Podcast, I sit down with Eve Rodsky, author of Fair Play, to unpack the division of labor in parenting. We dive into the mental load, the emotional labor, and why so many families fall into patterns where one parent (usually mom) takes on the bulk of the work—often without even realizing it.

Eve shares the Fair Play framework, a system that helps couples move from frustration and resentment to true partnership in running a household. We’ll talk about:

✔️ Why "helping" isn't the same as "ownership"
✔️ How assumptions about gender roles silently shape our parenting dynamics
✔️ The hidden labor of planning, managing, and executing daily family life
✔️ How to start creating a more equitable system
✔️ The simple mindset shift that can transform your relationship

If you’ve ever caught yourself saying “I have to do everything around here” and “I shouldn’t have to ask for help”, OR "My partner doesn't trust me" and "I can't do anything right...." this episode will change the way you think about parenting, partnership, and fairness in your home.

📖 Punishment-Free Parenting

🃏Fair Play Cards

📖 Fair-Play Book

🔗 Fair Play resources

If this episode resonated with you, share it with a partner or a friend. Let’s change the way we divide the mental load—one family at a time.

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