Dame Kelly Holmes, an Olympian who recently came out as gay, talks about her journey of self-discovery, the challenges of being in the military while hiding her true self, and the importance of authenticity. She shares her experiences meeting famous people, navigating burnout, and the need for visibility and understanding in creating change.
Acknowledging and living as one's authentic self can be a challenging and liberating journey.
The ban on homosexuality in the military created fear and hardships for LGBTQ+ individuals.
Hiding one's true identity can have significant negative impacts on mental and physical health.
Deep dives
Kelly Holmes' Journey Towards Self-Acceptance and Authenticity
Kelly Holmes, a celebrated athlete and former military officer, opens up about her personal struggles with coming out as gay and the fear and hardships she faced due to societal and military expectations. She highlights the importance of understanding that while society may seem more accepting, many people still struggle to be their authentic selves. As a former military officer, Kelly discusses the impact of the ban on homosexuality and the challenges she and others faced in acknowledging their true identities. She emphasizes the need for recognition and support for those affected by the ban and expresses hope for a more inclusive and accepting society.
The Process of Self-Discovery and Acceptance
Kelly reflects on her personal journey of realizing and accepting her sexuality and the fear and inhibitions that prevented her from openly discussing it. She shares her experiences of living a double life as an athlete and military officer, fearing the consequences of coming out. Kelly discusses the internal struggles that come with hiding one's authentic self and the toll it takes on mental health. She highlights the importance of finding the courage to speak up and break free from the barriers that society and oneself impose.
The Impact of Fear and Societal Expectations
Kelly delves into the fear and societal pressures that affected her mental and physical well-being. She speaks about the burden of hiding and the toll it took on her physical appearance, emotional stability, and overall health. Kelly emphasizes the need to address the psychological damage caused by fear and the necessity of seeking proper support and therapy to heal and overcome the negative impact on one's life.
The Power of Conversation and Sharing Experiences
Kelly discusses the significance of having open and honest conversations about sexuality and personal struggles. She emphasizes the importance of finding the right people to confide in and seek support from. Kelly shares how connecting with individuals like Kelly Holmes, Boy George, and Alan Carr helped her feel seen and accepted, providing her with the courage to be more open about her own journey. She emphasizes the importance of offering understanding and compassion to those navigating their identity and aims to be a voice of change, promoting inclusivity and normalizing LGBTQ+ experiences.
Looking Towards a More Inclusive and Accepting Future
Kelly highlights the progress made in the army and society in terms of LGBTQ+ acceptance, but acknowledges that there is still work to be done. She discusses the need for recognition and support for those who faced discrimination due to the ban on homosexuality in the military. Kelly expresses her hope to use her platform to promote understanding, education, and inclusion, so that LGBTQ+ individuals can live their lives authentically without fear or discrimination.
Olympian Dame Kelly Holmes recently announced publicly that she is gay. Although she’s acknowledged this truth privately for a number of decades, it’s only now that she’s felt able to begin living publicly her authentic self. Having served in the British military at a time when homosexuality was banned, Kelly had always feared serious repercussions, which only intensified when she became a celebrated world class athlete.
In this chat with Fearne, Kelly talks through the painful – and hopeful – journey that’s brought her to a place where she feels confident to live entirely authentically, as well as delving into the mental, emotional, and physical stress of hiding such a huge part of her identity for so long.
Kelly Holmes: Being Me is available to watch back on ITV Hub.
CONTENT WARNING: This episode contains frank chat about self harm, so take care while listening.