Optimal Relationships Daily - Dating, Marriage and Parenting 2820: When The Holidays Bring The Memory Of Loss by Dr. Margaret Rutherford on Finding Comfort Amid Loss
Dec 3, 2025
A heartfelt exploration of grief during the holidays unfolds as a writer shares her poignant experiences of losing both parents. She vividly recalls the shock of her mother’s passing and the frantic preparations for the funeral. Humor and pain intertwine in her stories of mishaps during the funeral, revealing the complex emotions tied to loss. The conversation shifts to the importance of creating meaningful rituals to honor loved ones, ultimately encouraging compassion and self-care during times of grief.
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Shock In The Kitchen
- Dr. Margaret Rutherford recalls learning of her mother's death while standing in her kitchen at 9:23am and feeling shocked despite her age.
- She describes seeing her mother's body at the funeral home and experiencing a guttural, animal-like cry when it sank in.
A Funeral Gone Awry
- Margaret describes a private bedside service for her mother with her frail father and calls the formal funeral a "comedy of errors."
- She recounts the pastor playing inappropriate music and having a severe panic attack as the family exited the service.
Loss During Christmas
- Dr. Rutherford recounts her father's death on Christmas Eve and the family feeling numb afterward while planning his service.
- She explains coping by giving each grandchild a piece of her mother's jewelry and introducing a new dirty-Santa game that year.