Women at Work

We’re Asking for (and Getting) What We Want

Dec 9, 2024

Kumuthini Raman, a learning professional at KPMG specializing in leadership development, joins the discussion to unveil her insights on workplace requests. She shares her experience participating in a challenge that involved asking colleagues for resources, salary raises, and even deadline extensions. The conversation highlights how overcoming the fear of rejection can lead to personal growth and successful negotiations. The importance of communication styles, gender dynamics in responses, and balancing assertiveness with warmth also take center stage.

43:19

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Episode guests

Kumuthini Raman

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Quick takeaways

Engaging in assertive requests often leads to surprisingly positive outcomes and helps diminish the fear of rejection.

Balancing warmth and assertiveness is crucial for women in workplace interactions to effectively advocate for their needs.

Deep dives

The Power of Asks

When seeking to fulfill personal or professional desires, many people hesitate to ask for what they want due to fear of rejection. However, research indicates that people often underestimate how frequently others are willing to say yes. By practicing the exercise of making requests, individuals can discover that asking assertively often garners more positive responses than anticipated. This realization can significantly enhance one's ability to advocate for themselves and help foster an environment of open communication.

Intro

5min

Navigating Expectations: The Surprising No's in Asking

4min

Exploring Communication Patterns in Requests and Responses

2min

The Art of Communication: Asking and Refusing

19min

Navigating Communication Challenges and Insights

3min

Mastering Effective Communication

8min

Effective Communication: Balancing Warmth and Assertiveness

3min

What’s on your work wish list? A conference or training? A higher performance rating or salary or job title? Feedback from someone you respect? A project you’d like to lead? Clearer communication from your boss? Or maybe an extension on a deadline?

These are the sorts of things that Amy Gallo and four listeners asked for (and mostly got) when they did Alison Fragale’s “nos challenge” from our episode “To Get What You Want, Be Both Assertive and Warm.” These were the rules: ask different colleagues for something they have the power to give you and that you’d value having. Keep track of the requests and responses until you’ve gotten 10 nos. Also keep track of the yeses and how each response made you feel.

In doing the challenge, they tested their assumptions about people’s willingness to meet their wants and needs. They also crossed off lots of items on their wish lists, learned to fear rejection less, and gained status. Now, your turn?

Guest expert:

Alison Fragale is a professor of organizational behavior at the University of North Carolina’s business school. She’s the author of the book Likeable Badass: How Women Get the Success They Deserve.

Resources: