Pulling The Thread with Elise Loehnen Healing Male Depression (Terry Real)
Oct 21, 2021
Terry Real, renowned therapist, talks about male depression stigma, cultural programming of boys, and the impact of individualism on men's relationality. He discusses deprogramming patriarchal thinking and supporting men for deeper connections and relational joy.
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Male Depression is 'Illegal'
- Depression in men often manifests covertly through addiction or acting out, rather than overt sadness.
- Men face a double stigma: depression is unmanly, making it 'illegal' for them to express it openly.
Use Couples Therapy First
- To help a depressed man, first get him into couples therapy rather than insisting on individual therapy alone.
- In therapy, present his depression as a relational problem to engage him without confrontation.
Early Trauma in Boys vs Girls
- Boys face a unique early trauma: abandonment from enforced emotional stoicism starting before age five.
- This pre-verbal, cellular wound affects men profoundly, setting them apart from the later adolescent wounds girls experience.