I Wish You Knew High-Performing Moms and the Pain No One Sees | Adam Lane Smith
Nov 7, 2025
In this insightful conversation, Dana Carafalia—a relatable content creator and mother—opens up about the hidden emotional costs of high-performing motherhood. She discusses the pressure of social media, the complexities of finding love after divorce, and how childhood experiences shape attachment styles. The duo explores themes like mom guilt, emotional detachment, and the importance of self-care. Dana shares her journey of healing and reconnecting with her emotions, proving that strength lies in vulnerability and authentic connection.
AI Snips
Chapters
Transcript
Episode notes
Leaving After Long Emotional Grieving
- Dana left her marriage after feeling emotionally released for years and began dating within six months.
- She described feeling surprised by new romance because she had grieved the relationship long before the legal divorce.
First Experience Of Consistent Safety
- Dana recounts never having a consistently reliable male partner before her current relationship.
- She describes the calm and breathability of finally having someone who consistently shows up.
Disorganized Attachment Explains Freezing
- Adam labels Dana's mix of avoidance and anxiety as disorganized attachment and explains the freeze response.
- He notes this style often causes delayed processing and selective mutism under stress.