Brené with Chris Germer on the Near and Far Enemies of Fierce Compassion, Part 1 of 2
Nov 30, 2022
41:53
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Clinical psychologist Chris Germer, co-developer of Mindful Self-Compassion program, discusses the dichotomy of fierce compassion, near and far enemies of compassion, balancing tenderness and action, emotional reactivity challenges, and the importance of mindfulness and self-kindness in fostering genuine compassion.
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Quick takeaways
Identifying near enemies like reactivity and complacency enhances genuine compassion practice.
Avoiding the trap of pity and embracing kindness rooted in common humanity fosters authentic compassion.
Deep dives
Exploring the Mindful Self-Compassion Program
The podcast episode delves into the Mindful Self-Compassion Program co-developed by Chris Germer and Kristin Neff, which has reached 200,000 individuals worldwide. The program focuses on cultivating compassion and mindfulness, blending love and suffering to transform experiences positively. Through a blend of tenderness and action, the program emphasizes nurturing, protecting, providing, and motivating to achieve a balanced, action-oriented form of compassion.
Understanding the Concept of Near and Far Enemies
The conversation introduces the concept of near and far enemies in compassion, drawing from Buddhist psychology. It explores how near enemies, such as reactivity instead of mindfulness, sameness instead of common humanity, and complacency instead of kindness, can masquerade as virtues but actually hinder genuine compassion. By discerning and acknowledging these near enemies, individuals can enhance their compassion practice and deepen their understanding of suffering.
Challenging the Notions of Pity and Separation
The episode examines the near enemy of kindness, which is depicted as pity in the context of compassion. Pity creates a sense of separation and fosters a disconnection between the helper and the one receiving help. By avoiding the trap of feeling sorry for others and embracing genuine kindness rooted in common humanity, individuals can overcome the isolating effects of pity and cultivate a more authentic and inclusive form of compassion.
Balancing Love and Suffering in Compassion
The discussion highlights the importance of navigating the tensions between love and suffering in compassion. It emphasizes rising above emotional reactivity and default responses like sameness, complacency, and pity, which can lead to disconnection and loneliness. By striving to blend love and suffering, individuals can access a deeper level of compassion that acknowledges and addresses suffering with genuine care and understanding.
I’ve been waiting my whole life to talk to Chris Germer. He is a clinical psychologist and lecturer on psychiatry at Harvard Medical School, and he co-developed the Mindful Self-Compassion program with Kristin Neff, which has been taught to 200,000 people worldwide. I recently read an article written by Chris called “The Near and Far Enemies of Fierce Compassion,” and as soon as I read it, I said, “Put him on the podcast list. I’ve gotta talk to him.”