Heal Your Heartbreak #294 Navigating Anxious and Avoidant Attachments with Julie Mennano
Nov 4, 2025
Julie Mennano, an attachment expert and author of Secure Love, joins the discussion on navigating love and heartbreak. She sheds light on the anxious-avoidant dynamic, debunking myths of doomed relationships. Julie explains how to take accountability post-breakup without falling into self-blame and emphasizes the importance of self-trust for future relationships. She also explores how negative cycles erode intimacy and provides insights on effective communication for both anxious and avoidant partners.
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Labels Can Help — Until They Box You In
- Attachment labels help make sense of behavior but can box people in if overused.
- Julie Mennano warns to discard labels if they create anxiety rather than clarity.
Anxious–Avoidant Is Often Second-Best
- Anxious–avoidant is common and can function as a “second-best” workable dynamic.
- Julie Mennano says it's not ideal but often better than anxious–anxious or avoidant–avoidant pairings.
Interrupt The Escalating Negative Cycle
- Notice the negative cycle: anxious brings hot topic, avoidant withdraws, escalation repeats and unresolved problems pile up.
- Interrupt the cycle by creating safety, slowing the energy, and seeking repair instead of reactivity.
