Tips from an ADHD Coach: Needing perfect conditions to get started
Feb 18, 2025
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Struggling to get started because you crave perfect conditions? You're not alone! Discover how ADHD can trick us into waiting for ideal circumstances that may never arrive. Gain practical tips to break the cycle of perfectionism and embrace flexibility in your routines. Learn to jumpstart activities even when everything feels off. It's time to take action, imperfections and all!
Individuals with ADHD often postpone actions due to a desire for perfect conditions that rarely materialize, leading to procrastination.
Embracing flexibility and celebrating small victories can help overcome perfectionism and facilitate the formation of new habits.
Deep dives
The Perfectionist Trap in Habit Formation
Many individuals with ADHD experience a significant barrier to starting new habits due to the desire for perfect conditions, which often remain elusive. This struggle is exemplified by a listener who faces multiple challenges to walking her dog, including family responsibilities and adverse weather. Such complexities create a tendency to delay actions while seeking an optimal solution, leading to feelings of guilt and frustration over unmet goals. This situation reflects a common issue among those with ADHD, where the focus on brainstorming ideal scenarios hampers the motivation to act.
Overcoming All-or-Nothing Mentality
ADHD can foster an all-or-nothing mentality, making individuals feel that unless they can meet all conditions perfectly, they might as well not start at all. This cognitive pattern leads to discouragement when faced with minor obstacles, reinforcing the perception that efforts are futile if not executed flawlessly. For example, if the desire is to cook a specific meal but the necessary ingredients are lacking, it might result in skipping cooking altogether rather than adapting with what is available. Recognizing and challenging this mindset is crucial for progress, as even small efforts can be valid and rewarding.
Tactics for Successful Habit Integration
Implementing adaptable strategies can help individuals with ADHD break free from the constraints of perfectionism when starting new habits. Utilizing techniques such as 'Tetrising' tasks into the day can make it easier to fit in activities, like dog walking, in manageable chunks of time. Additionally, embracing a mindset of persistence rather than rigid consistency allows for flexibility in routine, making it possible to maintain habits despite daily variations. Celebrating small successes and recognizing progress helps to boost motivation and reinforces positive behavior, leading to a sustainable approach to habit formation.
Do you find yourself holding off on starting something because you’re waiting for the conditions to be perfect? Do these perfect conditions ever happen?
This week on Tips from an ADHD Coach, Jaye talks about how sometimes with ADHD we put off something we think is important, because we’re waiting for a perfect solution, or perfect conditions, which may never come. Listen for some tips to jumpstart yourself, even when it doesn’t feel like the perfect time.
Have a challenge you’d like Jaye to talk about in an episode? Email or send a voice memo to us at adhdcoachtips@understood.org.
Understood is a nonprofit organization dedicated to empowering people with learning and thinking differences, like ADHD and dyslexia. If you want to help us continue this work, donate at understood.org/give
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