In 'Why Are We Yelling?', Buster Benson offers a framework for turning arguments into opportunities for growth and understanding. By understanding the psychological underpinnings of conflict and learning critical communication habits, readers can transform unproductive arguments into productive discussions that enhance relationships and solve problems.
In High Conflict, Amanda Ripley delves into the phenomenon of 'high conflict,' which is distinct from the useful friction of healthy conflict. High conflict involves good-versus-evil feuds that lead to an 'us versus them' mentality, altering brain behavior and increasing feelings of superiority while worsening the conflict. The book follows various individuals in different contexts, including a conflict expert in California, a Chicago gang leader, and communities in Colombia, to illustrate how people get trapped in and eventually escape high conflict. Ripley highlights common forces such as conflict entrepreneurs, humiliation, and false binaries that drive high conflict and provides insights on how to transform these conflicts into productive ones by rehumanizing opponents and reviving curiosity and wonder.
Summary
In this episode, Andy interviews Juliana Tafur, the inaugural director of the Bridging Differences Program at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center. The conversation explores practical strategies for bridging divides in a polarized world, both in personal and professional contexts.
Juliana shares insights from her experiences growing up in a divided Colombia, her work in the U.S. post-9/11, and research on bridging differences. The episode also covers the psychological roots of 'othering' and offers practical advice for fostering connections despite differences. Additionally, resources like the seven-day Campaign for Connection Challenge and the Bridging Differences Playbook are highlighted to help you apply these concepts in your daily life.
What if you could get better at bridging divides in these polarized times? This episode will help you do that!
Sound Bites
- "Disconnection is one of the evils of our time."
- "Our brains will always go to labeling. That is just how our brains function."
- "No one is a single label… we are so multi-dimensional."
- "Listening is truly like a hidden superpower."
- "Just by us listening, we are perceived as more trustworthy."
- "You can affirm their feelings while still disagreeing."
- "The value of humility, openness, curiosity, empathy—are not really front and center in our society."
Chapters
- 00:00 Introduction
- 02:11 Start of Interview
- 02:24 Juliana's Background and Influences
- 04:29 Understanding 'Othering' and Tribalism
- 08:42 The Power of Listening with Compassion
- 10:33 Practical Steps for Deep Listening
- 16:40 Real-Life Examples of Bridging Divides
- 24:54 The Problem with Labels
- 27:10 The Seven Day Campaign for Connection Challenge
- 29:54 Resources for Bridging Differences
- 31:47 Teaching Kids to Bridge Differences
- 35:29 End of Interview
- 35:55 Andy's Comments After the Interview
- 39:23 Outtakes
Learn More
You can learn more about Juliana and her Bridging Differences program at GGSC.Berkeley.edu/What_we_do/Major_Initiatives/Bridging_Differences. You can download the Bridging Differences Playbook and access the Bridging Differences Videos from that page.
For more learning on this topic, check out:
- Episode 380 with Monica Guzman about her book on a similar topic.
- Episode 371 with Amanda Ripley about her book High Conflict.
- Episode 276 with Buster Benson about his book
- Episode 284 with Peter Boghossian about having what seem like impossible conversations.
Thank you for joining me for this episode of The People and Projects Podcast!
Talent Triangle: Power Skills
Topics: Listening, Empathy, Connection, Polarization, Leadership, Communication, Conflict, Project Management
The following music was used for this episode:
Music: Ignotus by Agnese Valmaggia License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license
Music: Tropical Vibe by WinnieTheMoog License (CC BY 4.0): https://filmmusic.io/standard-license
People and Projects Podcast: Project Management Podcast 
