High Conflict People in Mediation, Emotional Triggers in BIFF Responses, and Hereditary Antisocial Personality Disorder
Apr 6, 2023
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Learn about the challenges mediators face with high conflict personalities in mediation. Explore the 'new ways for mediation' method and tips for managing high conflict people. Discover how emotions can impact interactions and the importance of empathy. Understand the genetic nature of antisocial personality disorder and setting limits. Learn how to spot sociopathic behavior and engage with the podcast through questions and reviews.
The 'New Ways for Mediation' training program provides mediators with strategies to navigate high conflict cases, increase settlement rates, and keep individuals focused on thinking rather than reacting.
For high conflict individuals, a thinking-based approach like the 'CARS Method' can be more effective in managing emotions, acknowledging them without dwelling, and helping clients stay focused on choices and solutions.
Deep dives
Dealing with High Conflict Personalities in Mediation
High conflict personalities can pose challenges in mediation, but there are strategies to help them. The podcast introduces a training program called 'New Ways for Mediation' that provides mediators with the necessary skills to navigate high conflict cases. Bill Eddy, the creator of this model, experienced an increase in his settlement rates from 75% to above 90% using this approach. The training combines on-demand videos and Zoom sessions with Bill Eddy. Mediators are encouraged to have lawyers involved to provide a realistic picture of possible outcomes, as high conflict individuals often have unrealistic expectations. The 'New Ways for Mediation' method helps engage problem-solving skills and keeps individuals focused on thinking rather than reacting.
Managing High Conflict People and Emotions in Mediation
The podcast discusses the challenge of addressing emotions when working with high conflict personalities, as they have difficulty grieving and healing losses. While other therapeutic methods often focus on working through emotions, the hosts suggest that high conflict individuals can benefit more from a thinking-based approach. They recommend the 'CARS Method' - Connecting, Analyzing, Responding, and Setting Limits - as a way to effectively manage high conflict emotions. Acknowledging emotions without dwelling on them is emphasized. The hosts also mention the importance of professionals helping clients focus on choices and solutions instead of triggering emotional reactions, which can sabotage the mediation process.
Multiple Generations and Antisocial Personality Disorder
The podcast addresses the question of whether high conflict traits, specifically antisocial personality disorder, can be transferred across multiple generations. While there may be a stronger connection in first-generation relatives, it's important to note that not everyone related to someone with antisocial personality disorder will develop the disorder themselves. The hosts explain that while genetic factors play a role, upbringing and environmental influences are also significant. They emphasize that individuals with antisocial traits can still be helped through proper support, structure, empathy, and setting limits. The podcast concludes by advocating self-care and the importance of setting boundaries when dealing with antisocial individuals.
In this episode, Bill and Megan continue answering listener questions:
“I am a family mediator. My practice focuses on keeping people out of court and helping them navigate their divorce in mediation. In my experience, high conflict personalities do NOT do well in this kind of mediation. It’s as if they “need” the authority of a lawyer or even a judge to bring their expectations and demands into the realm of reality. They often “shoot themselves in the foot” as well.”
“I’m curious if you are familiar with Nonviolent Communication. Listening to the BIFF responses podcast, which I love, I’m curious if you consider the emotional side of things when working with companies. I have found that empathy can mitigate emotional triggers so people CAN deliver BIFF responses. Until and unless people get empathy, they may not be able to BIFF it!”
“Do you often see High Conflict with Antisocial Personality Disorder in multiple generations? After listening to your podcast about ASD with HCD, I think my father had ASD, and my younger sibling has both. My father passed away after creating much chaos during his life, including disowning me. My sibling is very much alive, and creating a lot of chaos and problems?”