How to Know When Someone Is Actually Available

Jan 6, 2026

Matthew Hussey, a relationship expert and bestselling author, joins to unravel the complexities of modern dating. He emphasizes the crucial difference between chemistry and compatibility, explaining how excitement can mask deeper issues. Listeners learn to identify emotional availability early on and the importance of maintaining standards over types. Hussey also discusses recognizing red flags in texting, the power of vulnerability in attracting the right partner, and the necessity of walking away from unsatisfying situationships.

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INSIGHT

Our Tank Becomes Our Default Reality

People repeat learned survival behaviors from their 'tank' and mistake them for truth about the world.
Matthew Hussey says shifting that view opens the possibility that other people have different, healthy experiences.

ADVICE

Declare Your Worth With Boundaries

Tell the world what your worth is by setting boundaries and standards for behavior you accept.
Stop being around people who don't meet those standards and model the culture you want.

ANECDOTE

A Woman Who Wanted To Kill Her Desire

Matthew shares a woman in her 60s who asked how to 'kill the desire' to find love after lifelong longing.
He uses this story to illustrate how chronic emotional pain becomes accompanied by explanatory stories.

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