We Can Do Hard Things 83. Brené Brown: What to Say to Get What You Need
In this engaging discussion, Brené Brown, a research professor and bestselling author known for her insights on vulnerability, shares her expertise on authentic connections. She delves into when to dig deep in relationships and when to let go. The conversation also highlights how fear can block connection and the importance of emotional expression, especially during challenging times. Brené emphasizes the need for understanding our emotions to foster trust and intimacy, ultimately celebrating our resilience in navigating complex relationships.
51:13
Self-Connection
- We all want deep connection, but it starts with ourselves.
- We connect with others in proportion to our self-connection.
Hotwiring Connection
- We often try to "hotwire" connection by assuming we understand others' emotions.
- True connection requires asking and believing, even when it's hard.
Ask and Believe
- Instead of assuming, ask "What's going on?"
- Believe their response, even if it clashes with your expectations or needs.
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Intro
00:00 • 2min
Navigating Authenticity and Connection
02:24 • 18min
The Dynamics of Control and Trust in Relationships
20:48 • 3min
Navigating Relationship Communication in Challenging Times
24:06 • 5min
Communicating Through Emotional Labor
28:46 • 8min
Navigating Connection and Control: A Journey Through Emotions
36:50 • 4min
Balancing Structure and Connection
41:04 • 10min
Braving the wilderness
The Quest for True Belonging and the Courage to Stand Alone
Brené Brown
In 'Braving the Wilderness', Brené Brown redefines what it means to truly belong in an age of increased polarization.
She argues that we are experiencing a spiritual crisis of disconnection and introduces four practices of true belonging that challenge common notions about belonging.
Brown emphasizes that true belonging requires believing in and belonging to oneself fully, finding sacredness in both being part of something and standing alone when necessary.
The book is a mix of research, storytelling, and honesty, offering a clear path to true belonging and encouraging readers to brave the wilderness of uncertainty and criticism with integrity and authenticity.
You Are Your Best Thing
Vulnerability, Shame Resilience, and the Black Experience
Tarana Burke
Brené Brown
This book is a collection of essays curated by Tarana Burke and Brené Brown, featuring contributions from Kiese Laymon, Imani Perry, Laverne Cox, Jason Reynolds, Austin Channing Brown, and others.
It delves into the topics of vulnerability and shame resilience, particularly in the context of the Black experience.
The essays discuss how Black people navigate systemic racism, trauma, and daily life, highlighting the importance of confronting white supremacy and creating lives filled with connection, love, and growth despite these challenges.
Dare to lead
Brave Work. Tough Conversations. Whole Hearts.
Brené Brown
In 'Dare to Lead', Brené Brown provides a roadmap for leaders to build trust and foster a culture of courage and vulnerability.
The book emphasizes that leadership is not about titles or power, but about recognizing and developing the potential in people and ideas.
Brown introduces the 'BRAVING' framework (Boundaries, Reliability, Accountability, Vault, Integrity, Non-judgment, Generosity) to build and maintain trust.
She also highlights the importance of embracing vulnerability, having tough conversations, and aligning actions with shared values.
The book is based on her research with global leaders and offers practical advice on developing empathy, resilience, and courageous leadership skills.
WOLFPACK
How to Come Together, Unleash Our Power and Change the Game
Abby Wambach
Based on her inspiring 2018 commencement speech to Barnard College’s graduates, Abby Wambach delivers a powerful message for women to break free from old rules of leadership and create new paths.
The book emphasizes the importance of transforming failure into wisdom, leading from any position, championing each other, and demanding what one deserves.
Wambach advocates for a culture of honor, commitment, resilience, and sisterhood, urging women to unite and change the world together.
Daring Greatly
How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead
Brené Brown
In 'Daring Greatly,' Brené Brown delves into the topics of vulnerability, shame, and courage.
The book, inspired by a quote from Theodore Roosevelt's 'Citizenship in a Republic' speech, argues that vulnerability is essential for living a wholehearted life.
Brown discusses how vulnerability is often misunderstood as weakness, but it is actually a sign of courage.
She provides insights from her research on how vulnerability affects men and women differently and offers practical advice on overcoming shame and embracing vulnerability in personal and professional life.
The book emphasizes the importance of connection, shame resilience, and the distinction between guilt and shame.
The gifts of imperfection
Brené Brown
In this book, Brené Brown shares her research on the power of wholehearted living, a way of engaging with the world from a place of worthiness.
She outlines ten guideposts to help readers cultivate courage, compassion, and connection.
Brown emphasizes the importance of recognizing and overcoming shame, fear, and vulnerability, and instead embracing authenticity and self-love.
The book is designed to help readers move away from perfectionism and towards a more authentic and fulfilling life.
Atlas of the heart
J. Willis Hurst
This book is a detailed medical atlas that provides extensive information and illustrations related to the heart and cardiovascular system.
It is intended for medical professionals and students, offering a thorough resource for understanding cardiac anatomy, physiology, and pathology.
Rising strong
Brené Brown
In 'Rising Strong,' Brené Brown introduces a three-step process to help individuals recover from failures and setbacks.
The process includes **The Reckoning**, where one recognizes and becomes curious about their emotions; **The Rumble**, where one gets honest about the stories they tell themselves and challenges these narratives; and **The Revolution**, where one integrates the learnings from the previous steps to create positive changes in their life.
Brown's research, based on interviews with various individuals including leaders, artists, and parents, emphasizes the importance of vulnerability, courage, and wholehearted living.
The book aims to help readers transform their lives by embracing their stories and learning from their struggles.
1. How to know when to dig deep–and when to quit digging.
2. The greatest blocker of connection–and how to remove it.
3. How to handle our fear (without obsessively controlling our people and our environment).
4. Why we all deserve a standing ovation for navigating relationships over the past two years.
About Brené:
Dr. Brené Brown is a research professor at the University of Houston where she holds the Huffington Foundation Endowed Chair at The Graduate College of Social Work. She has spent the past two decades studying courage, vulnerability, shame, and empathy, is the author of six #1 New York Times bestsellers, and is the host of the weekly podcasts Unlocking Us and Dare to Lead.
In her latest #1 New York Times bestseller, ATLAS OF THE HEART, which has been adapted for television and now streaming on HBO Max, she takes us on a journey through eighty-seven of the emotions and experiences that define what it means to be human.
Brené’s books have been translated into more than 30 languages and titles include: Dare to Lead, Braving the Wilderness, Rising Strong, Daring Greatly, and The Gifts of Imperfection. Most recently Brené collaborated with Tarana Burke to co-edit You Are Your Best Thing: Vulnerability, Shame Resilience, and the Black Experience.
Brené lives in Houston, Texas, with her husband, Steve. They have two children, Ellen and Charlie.
TW: @BreneBrown
IG: @BreneBrown
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