The Adversity Advantage with Doug Bopst Relationship Expert: The Myths That Destroy Marriages & Keep You From Being Happy | Vanessa Bennett
Dec 11, 2025
Vanessa Bennett, a licensed marriage and family therapist and author of The Motherhood Myth, joins to explore how parenthood reshapes identity and intimacy. They discuss the pressures of modern parenting and the importance of self-awareness before having children. Vanessa debunks myths around parenthood, pointing out that children aren't responsible for our happiness. The conversation emphasizes emotional intimacy beyond physical connection, and how open communication can strengthen relationships. Bennett encourages men to develop emotional intelligence and for both partners to prioritize self-relationship.
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The 'Motherhood Should Be Easy' Myth
- Society teaches that motherhood and partnership should come inherently easy and fulfilling.
- Vanessa Bennett says that belief creates shame when reality is hard and prevents systemic change.
Build Self Before You Build A Family
- Do work on establishing a strong sense of self and boundaries before having a child.
- Clarify what you're willing to do and what you're not to avoid burning out when sleep-deprived.
Know Your Patterns Before Kids
- Learn your patterns and feel solid in your sense of self before becoming a parent.
- Use parenting as a catalyst for further self-development, not as the sole source of growth.
