Learn how to set healthy boundaries in high-conflict situations with Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter. From co-parenting to workplace conflicts and suspected lies, they provide practical tips and examples. Practice the BIF method, focus on protecting children, and reality test when needed. Find simple phrases to use when setting boundaries and enhance your most challenging relationships.
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volunteer_activism ADVICE
Adopt Clear Co-Parenting Standards
Use established standards for co-parenting boundaries to reduce disputes and protect children.
Agree on not discussing contentious topics in front of kids and enforce it by pausing or moving the conversation later.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Control Your Part—Walk Away If Needed
If a co-parent violates the boundary in front of children, stop your part of the interaction and remove yourself calmly.
You cannot control them, so control your actions: hang up, walk away, or leave with the kids.
volunteer_activism ADVICE
Escalate Boundaries When Safety Is Concerned
If you fear violence, escalate limits by seeking legal protections like restraining orders and no-contact directives.
Use formal legal boundaries (no direct contact, lawyer-to-lawyer communication) when safety is at risk.
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Bill Eddy and Megan Hunter tackle an important but tricky topic in this episode - how to set healthy boundaries with others when tensions run high. Whether it's a contentious divorce, difficult coworker, or suspected lies, Bill and Megan provide realistic examples and actionable advice to constructively handle high-conflict situations. Tune in to learn techniques to establish boundaries while remaining calm and keeping conflicts small. This episode delivers takeaways anyone can apply to enhance their most challenging relationships.
They provide tips across three common scenarios:
Co-parenting after divorce: Look to standards or common practices as a starting point. Focus on protecting the children and not discussing certain topics in front of them. You can only control your own behavior - walk away if tensions escalate.
Workplace conflicts: Practice using the BIF (brief, informative, friendly, firm) method in emails or conversations. Don't engage in unnecessary battles - end conversations if needed.
Suspected lies: Always consider three perspectives - it could be true, false, or somewhere in between. Don't react emotionally or you may become a target of blame. Reality test tactfully if needed.
Bill and Megan stress practicing these techniques and finding simple but memorable phrases to use when setting boundaries. Their realistic examples and actionable advice provide takeaways anyone can apply to enhance their most challenging relationships.
It’s All Your Fault: High Conflict People 
