The Psychology of Depression and Anxiety - Dr. Scott Eilers How To Stop Giving Up On Yourself So Easily
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Oct 27, 2025 Explore the damaging effects of self-criticism and how it breeds behaviors like withdrawal and self-harm. Discover John Gottman's 'Four Horsemen' as a framework for understanding inner dialogue. Learn two essential strategies for rebuilding your self-relationship: high commitment and realistic standards. Embrace imperfection and set achievable expectations to combat self-contempt. Dr. Eilers emphasizes that personal growth is nonlinear, often requiring a commitment to progress despite setbacks. It's a raw yet hopeful path to self-acceptance.
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You Have A Relationship With Yourself
- You have a relationship with yourself that follows the same patterns as other relationships.
- Improving self-treatment uses the same relational principles we apply to others.
Gottman's Four Horsemen Apply Internally
- John Gottman's Four Horsemen predict relationship breakdown and map onto our inner dialogue.
- Criticism, defensiveness, contempt, and stonewalling form a cascade that damages self-relationship.
Unanswered Texts Escalate To Criticism
- Example: a partner leaves a text unread and criticism escalates to character attacks.
- Criticism creates shame and withdrawal instead of useful behavioral change.
